


Always

by brokencasbutt67



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anger, Angst, Anxiety, Bulimia, Dark Past, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Marriage Proposal, Massage, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, School Reunion, Self-Harm, Separations, Smut, Stabbing, Suicide Attempt, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 04:51:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 41,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14229660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokencasbutt67/pseuds/brokencasbutt67
Summary: It took a while for you to become comfortable around him, but eventually did. You were so happy you were able to become comfortable around him, it was amazing.Some chapters are short, but there's probably a lot of them





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't for the faint of heart. If you feel that you may struggle with the topics of self harm, depression, rape, eating disorders, abuse, bullying, and probably more. This isn't likely to be suitable for you. The tags cover most of it, however, there will be more tags that are added as the story is written, so check them often.

You knew it would be a bad day when you woke up. You could just feel it coming, in waves. But instead of calling Eric and Robert to inform them, you decided to just go onto set and film the remainder of the episode you were directing. It didn’t seem like a bad decision in the moment.

One shower later and you were just putting the finishing touches to your make up when your phone dinged from across the room. You went over to check it, zipping up your sweatshirt as you did. It was Richard, a close friend of yours that you had once held feelings for, you managed to stop yourself having them when you realised he wouldn’t feel the same way.   
  
‘ _Everyone is going for drinks 2nite. U interested?_ ’ you read over the message a few times. You wanted to send back ‘yeah’ and go out with them, but mentally you weren’t up for it. But if you said ‘no’ now, he’d know something was up if you turned up on set.  
  
‘ **Will see how I feel and let u know** ’ You sent back.

Not long after, you climbed into your car and drove off to the set, checking your phone before you did. Richard had sent a message back.   
  
‘ _looking forward 2 it x_ ’

_  
_


	2. Chapter 2

When you arrived on set, Richard was there waiting for you. You knew he was just being friendly, waiting for you, but today you just needed to be alone.   
“Hey Rich” You said quietly.   
“Hey y/n. Everything okay?” He asked. You nodded, avoiding eye contact, before making your way towards your trailer. He seemed to become distracted by something across the parking lot and ran off, which you thanked the heaven’s for.   
  
You climbed into your trailer, locked up and laid on the sofa until Eric came to inform you everyone was ready to start filming. Eric Kripke and Robert Singer were the only two on set who knew of your depression, and you were happy keeping it that way because it meant that no one else was burdened, or so you thought.

As you walked back to the set, Eric seemed to sense something wasn’t right.   
“Y/n, are you alright?” He asked, stopping you outside the set. You shrugged and looked down.   
“I’ll take that as a no. Do you want to go home? I don’t mind, we can just reschedule” He offered, as sincere as ever.   
“No, no. I’ll be fine. Not much left to film anyway, best to get it done today” you said.  
“Not if you’re not okay though” He said.   
“Thanks...but I’ll be okay” You said and smiled slightly, more for his sake than your own. He saw right through it, but didn’t press the matter further.   
“Just tell me, alright? Tell me if there’s anything you need” He said, brushing his hand over your shoulder before opening the door for you.

You smiled and nodded before walking into the room. Richard looked over to you as soon as you walked in, shooting you a small smile before going to stand in his spot. The filming commenced with very few issues, but every time they stopped, Richard was staring at you.

 


	3. Chapter 3

It was just getting to the end of the scene when you realised that something was happening to you. This was the part of the scene that you’d used to let your emotions out, and you were regretting it now. Every line that was spoken, every movement made, it was hitting you harder and before you knew what was happening, your feet were moving and you were running. You found yourself in your trailer, sliding down a wall in tears.

You flinched when you heard the door open.   
“What happened back there?” Richard’s voice hit your ears. You couldn’t speak, even if you tried, what would you say?   
“Rich...I think you should leave y/n be for a while” Eric said from behind him.   
“NO! Not until I know what that was about” He said. You knew it was only him caring, but you were hoping he would leave.

Eventually he did, though he resisted for some time. Eric knelt beside you and rubbed your shoulder.  
“It’s okay y/n...” He whispered.  
“I know this is useless coming from me, having never suffered depression. But get something to eat, and get some sleep. I’ll make sure you’re undisturbed...we can talk tomorrow if you feel better” He said. It warmed your heart that even though he didn’t know, he was trying. You nodded and wiped away your tears slightly.   
  
He smiled warmly and rubbed your shoulder before standing up.   
“Shout me if you need anything, I’ll be outside all night” He promised. You smiled and hugged him slightly before he left. You raided your fridge and grabbed a pot noodle. After boiling the water, you poured some in and started to eat the noodles once they were ready. Soon after, you fell asleep on the sofa.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

When you awoke, the next morning, you awoke relatively late in the morning. Sun was streaming through the windows, and you could see that Jensen and Jared were playing football, Misha was talking with Kim, and Richard...he was nowhere to be found.   
  
You sighed and opened the door, finding Eric in the same place you’d left him the night before.   
“Hey, y/n” He said. You smiled sadly, inviting him in. You raided the fridge for a bottle of water, offering him one. Eric took the bottle and smiled.   
“How are you feeling today?” He asked. You sighed.  
“I don’t know...” You sighed. Eric nodded.  
  
“I spoke to Rob Singer last night about the episode...we’ve got 2 things.   
1\. We don’t usually do this, but if you don’t feel comfortable filming the remaining scene, we can cover it for you. And 2. We’ve decided, with your permission, to donate all revenue gained from this episode to the National Alliance on Mental Illness” He said. You smiled and nodded.  
“That sounds nice” You smiled.   
“And thank you...it means a lot that you’re providing me with the support” You smiled. Eric smiled and nodded.  
  
“I need to ask something now...are you and Richard in any form of relationship?” He asked and you frowned.  
“Beyond friendship, no. Why?” You asked.  
“I think you should ask him what last night was about...he wasn’t exactly being subtle about how he felt” Eric said. You frowned, confused, but nodded.  
“I’ll talk to him after tonight” You said. Eric smiled and nodded.   
“Alright...are you coming out to film or would you prefer to stay here for a while?” He asked.  
“I’ll come across in a sec” You said. Eric smiled and nodded.   
“I’ll see you over there” He smiled and left your trailer. You smiled and went to the bathroom, clearing the make up from your face before washing.

You looked up when there was a knock at the door. You hesitantly went over and opened it to reveal Richard stood before you.   
“Hey y/n” He said, clearly nervous. _He wasn’t exactly being subtle about how he felt._

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Eric’s words swam around your brain as you invited Rich in. You sat on the sofa opposite him, watching as he moved to sit beside you.   
“We need to talk” You said, after gaining a burst of confidence. He nodded and looked to you. You could feel his eyes on you and you suddenly became nervous again.   
“It’s-s about last night-t” You stuttered slightly. He nodded and he seemed to become nervous too.

“Eric said...you weren’t exactly subtle about how you felt...what did he mean?” You asked, Richard looked down and fiddled with his watch.  
“If you don’t know how to say it...you could show me” You said. He nodded and seemed to take a moment or two to muster up some courage before cupping your face and kissing you gently. You melted into the kiss and moved your hands to his chest, one moving one hand to cup his cheek.   
“Y/n...I love you” He whispered when you pulled away. You looked down as you felt tears welling up.   
“I’m sorry” He said when you didn’t reply, assuming your silence was rejection.

You watched him leave with a sad expression. You sighed and wiped your tears away, pulling your phone close to send him a message.  
  
“ **I’m sorry...I just can’t when i’m like this** ” You sent, before deciding to tell Eric you needed to go home. You found Eric in the food tent with Robert. He looked over to you and saw your expression, walking over to you.   
“Are you okay, y/n?” He asked. You shrugged.   
“Want to go home?” He asked,   
“Do you mind if I do?” You asked.  
“Go ahead sweetie” Robert said. You smiled and hugged them both before leaving. _  
_


	6. Chapter 6

When you returned home, you went inside and just laid on the sofa, curling into a ball and falling asleep as best as possible.   
  
_Richard decided to visit you when he read your message. He peered into the house when there was no answer to his knocks. He saw you on the sofa and decided to walk into the house. When he found the room you were in, which wasn’t too hard, he knelt beside you and covered you in his jacket. He kissed your head and made sure you were covered before leaving again._   
  
You awoke a few hours after you’d fell asleep, and you felt something around you. It was a coat, one you recognised all too well. It was Richard’s. You sat up and saw you had 2 new messages, one from Eric and one from Richard.   
  
R: “ _I know about your depression...I want to help...if you want my help just let me know_ ” You read the message and your heart sank. You’d hoped he wouldn’t find out because you knew it would further jeopardise any chance of a relationship between the two of you.   
  
E: “ _Finished filming. Everything went smoothly. Hope youre feeling okay...take as much time as you need_ ” You smiled at the sentiment and put your phone back on the table before deciding to make a sandwich.   
  
After you ate the sandwich, you decided that you needed to talk to Richard. You sent him a text saying he should come over and that you wanted to talk to him. He responded with an ‘alright c u soon’ not long after. You cleaned yourself as best as possible so that you were at least presentable for him.  
  



	7. Chapter 7

When Richard arrived at your house, you invited him and briefly avoided eye contact with him, before deciding to face him.   
“Hey” He said softly. You smiled and invited him to sit down on the sofa.   
“Hi” You said nervously. He rubbed your shoulder and you handed him his jacket back.   
“We need to talk about yesterday...” You trailed off, biting your lip. He nodded.  
“Y/n...I’m so sorry. I thought you felt the same and I let my feelings overcome me and-” He said, shutting himself up when he saw you looking at him. 

“Rich...I want to...I do...I just...” You said. You didn’t know what to say. He seemed to understand though.   
“I want to help you y/n” He said, taking your hand in his own. You flinched at the touch and he removed his hand from yours.   
“Can I ask you something…feel free to tell me to fuck off or slap me, I just need to ask” He said.

You nodded and watched him.   
“Is there someone else? If there is, are they hurting you” He asked. You shook your head.  
“Only me” You said. He rubbed your shoulder gently.  
“Let me help you” He whispered. You closed your eyes shut when you felt tears coming.   
“I can’t” You said again. He shook his head and held his hand out to cup your face gently.   
“Let me, y/n...I want to help you” He whispered. You rubbed the tears away and avoided eye contact.  
“Y/n...I love you...I hate seeing you hurt like this. Let me help you” He whispered.

You nodded, briefly. But it was enough.   
“We can do everything at your pace” He promised, holding your hand. You collapsed into his chest and sobbed, tears streaming down your cheeks, leading to a stain on his shirt. He stroked his hand through your hair and rubbed your shoulder.   
“It’s okay...I’m here” He whispered and held you. You eventually fell asleep in his arms.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Richard had moved you both so he was laying on the sofa and you were curled up on his chest. When you awoke, it was 4pm and you just felt numb. You should feel happy, you’re in a relationship for the first time in almost 15 years and it was with your best friend, but still, you couldn’t feel. Richard’s hand was stroking through your hair, his other hand was resting on your waist.

“How are you feeling?” Richard asked. You shrugged and rested your head on his chest. Richard nodded.   
“I was thinking of ordering take-out...do you want anything?” He asked. You shrugged.  
“You like burgers right?” He asked. You nodded slightly.   
“I’ll get you a cheese burger and fries then” He said softly. You nodded.  
“I think there’s like $10 in my purse for it” you said.  
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay. My treat” He said with a small smile. You smiled slightly and kissed him gently. Richard smiled and let you deepen the kiss, staying true to his words that everything was at your pace. You eventually deepened it, just testing the waters. It’d been so long since you’d done anything like this, you were scared about doing everything. Richard’s hands were resting on your waist and you knew he wouldn’t push you further.

You eventually parted, to regain your breath. Richard stroked his fingers through your hair and smiled slightly.   
“Want me to order the food?” He asked. You nodded.  
“I’m gonna go have a shower” You said. He smiled and nodded.  
“Alright, cheese burger and fries alright?” Richard asked. You nodded.  
“Fine by me...I might not eat it all though” You said.  
“I understand...that’s perfectly fine” He said. You smiled and kissed him slightly, before going upstairs to get a shower.   
_  
_


	9. Chapter 9

****After your shower, you walked down the stairs in some pyjamas and sat beside Richard on the sofa. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and smiled.  
“Ordered it, coming soon” He smiled. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder, flicking the tv on. Supernatural was on, you quickly flicked it off when you saw yourself. Richard chuckled and kissed the top of your head. You curled close to his chest and smiled, eventually deciding to settle on the news. There wasn’t much else on anyway.   
  
When the food arrived, Richard went to collect it and paid the guy, returning a few moments later with two pizza boxes and a burger box.   
“We have one spicy chicken 16”, one garlic bread at 16” and one cheese burger, as well as two bags of fries” He smiled. You smiled and took your food, almost inhaling the burger. You were hungrier than you expected. Richard chuckled and smiled, eating some of the pizza. You stole a slice with a smirk and chuckled.   
  
Eventually, all of the food was gone. You were curled up on the sofa in Richard’s arms when you yawned.  
“Want to go up to bed?” He asked. You shrugged.  
“I’ll head home if you want” he offered, but you shook your head.  
“Stay” You whispered.  
“If you’re sure” He said. You nodded and held him.   
“C’mon, lets go up to bed” He smiled. You nodded and stood up, watching as Richard also stood up, walking up the stairs after you locked up.

You climbed into bed, watching as Richard undressed down to his boxers and climbed into the bed with you. You curled up and eventually fell to sleep to the calming motion of his hand stroking through your hair.

 


	10. Chapter 10

You awoke at the usual time, 2.47am. Richard was snoring, his hands resting on your back. You slid out of the bed slowly, as not to wake him. You walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. You sat on the floor and sighed. You knew Richard would hear if you did _it_. But if you didn’t… _  
  
_ You decided that you might as well do it, he’d find out eventually anyway. You knelt over the toilet and pushed the finger down your throat, until the feeling returned. The sickly, euphoric feeling that you hated to love. You watched the mushed up food fill the toilet, until you stopped long enough to flush the toilet. You repeated this several times until you were dry heaving, and you felt happy again, and Richard was none the wiser.   
  
You cleaned the toilet up, grabbing a glass of water to make it seem like food poisoning, if he asked about it.   
“You okay?” You heard Richard’s husky, sleep-filled voice from the darkness of the room. He stepped into the light a moment later, and the sight took your breath away. Richard was stood, in only his tight fitting boxer shorts, which was breathtaking in itself, but combined with the sight of him topless, it was a majestic sight. _One you didn’t deserve to see_. You forced yourself to nod, Richard couldn’t find out what you’d done, or how you were feeling. You filled another glass of water and walked back through to the bedroom with him, using all of your might to not break down in tears and cry.   
  
“Yeah, I’ll be fine...” You trailed off, putting the water on your night stand as you climbed into the bed again. Richard curled around you so you were spooning, and he rested his hand on your stomach, giving a small massage every so often, until you both eventually fell to sleep, with Richard’s hands holding yours as you slept. It was a new feeling, but one you liked...you knew though, that somehow, you’d mess it up and he’d leave you. You knew it would happen.


	11. Chapter 11

When you awoke the next morning, Richard’s arm was hot and heavy around your waist, but you liked the feeling. You could very easily become comfortable with it, you forced yourself not to though, instead choosing to get another shower. You slid out of the bed and walked through to the bathroom, stripping off and climbing into the shower. 

Hot water scalded your skin as you lathered soap over your skin and watched it slide down the drain. You repeated with the shampoo and conditioner, watching it all wash away. You looked over your body, now you had a chance to. Scars covered your legs, some old and faded, some new and red. The same could be said for your arms. You were good at hiding the ones on your arms, always wearing a jacket, having your make up done for the show alone. You hid them all well. Sometimes, maybe too well. 

You eventually climbed out of the shower and cursed when you realised you’d left no clothes out to quickly dress into. That meant Richard would most likely see you naked...which means he’d see the scars. You wrapped a towel around your body and walked out to the bedroom, finding Richard awake and on his phone.   
“Morning sunshine” He smiled. You smiled and sat on the bed, reaching into your underwear drawer to pull some out.  
“I’ll go get a shower to give you some privacy” He smiled. He climbed out of the bed, kissed your head and picked his clothes up.  
“If you leave your boxers out, I can shove them on a quick wash” You offered.  
“If you don’t mind” He smiled. You nodded and slid your underwear on, sliding into some jeans before you moved the towel away from your bottom half and wrapped it around your shoulders. Richard stepped out of his boxers and gave you them before going to get into the shower. You went downstairs and put them on a quick wash, going back up stairs to quickly finish dressing. 

5 minutes later and the boxers were dry, and you were dressed. You took them out of the machine and walked upstairs. You debated whether or not to put them inside the bathroom with him, and eventually decided to do so. You slowly opened the door, but didn’t say anything. At first, you thought he was in pain. You could hear moans. But then you realised, it wasn’t pain that was causing him to moan. It was you. You could hear the way he was moaning your name and you realised he was getting off to the thought of you. You placed the boxers down and snuck back out of the bathroom, so he wouldn’t realise you’d been in beyond placing them in. 

You went back downstairs and started to make something for breakfast, even if you weren’t eating it. You eventually decided on pancakes and you’d just started to make them when Richard walked in, hair damp but the rest of him was dry and fully dressed.


	12. Chapter 12

You watched as he moved to sit down, watching your every move.   
“How are you feeling today?” He asked. You shrugged and plated up the pancakes, giving him the plate along with some syrup.  
“Not having any?” Richard asked, when you didn’t make any more. You shook your head and reached for your tablets.   
“Can’t eat for an hour before or after eating these tablets” You shrugged.   
“Well one set its can’t eat before or after, the other I’m supposed to eat while taking them” You shrugged. Richard looked over the pills, there was one he recognised, a birth control pill. He didn’t recognise the others though – Fluoxetine. You took them all at once with a glass of water.

You moved to sit on the counter and watched as he ate the pancakes. Once he was finished, he moved to wash the plate up. You offered to do it, that he was the guest, but he shook his head and washed the plate.   
“Do you want to tell anyone about us?” Richard asked after he’d dried the plate. You shrugged.  
“I uh...not yet...” You trailed off. Richard nodded.  
“Alright” He smiled and kissed you gently. You cupped his cheek and held him close, just keeping things slow.   
  
You eventually pulled away, you both needed to go back to the studio.   
“Want me to drive?” Richard offered. You shrugged.  
“C’mon, we can take my car” He promised. You smiled and nodded, picking up your bag from where you’d left it the night before. Richard smiled and held a hand out for you, watching as you took it after a few moments.  
“Don’t forget your coat” You said as you passed it where it was resting on the stairs.   
“Keep it” He smiled and followed you out of the house.

You locked the door once you were both out and followed him to his car. Richard opened the passenger side door for you and helped you in. You smiled and buckled the seatbelt, watching as Richard closed the door and moved to the driver’s seat. You smiled as he climbed in and rubbed your thigh gently before starting to drive away.


	13. Chapter 13

When you arrived on set, you and Richard went your separate ways to your own trailers. You walked into yours and fell onto the sofa with a sigh. You looked up when there was a knock at the door.  
“Come in” You called out, watching as Eric walked in. You smiled slightly and made some room for him on the sofa.  
“Hey y/n” He smiled.  
“Hey Eric” You smiled and watched as he sat beside you.   
“Everything okay?” He asked. You nodded.  
“I guess” You said and looked up when there was another knock at the door.   
“Come in” You said and watched as Richard walked in. You smiled slightly and watched him.  
“Oh! I’ll come back later y/n” He said. You shook your head.  
“We might as well at least tell Eric” You said and pulled Richard down beside you. He smiled and wrapped an arm around you. Eric looked over the pair of you for a moment before smiling slightly.  
“Finally” He chuckled. You chuckled and nodded, holding Richard’s hand  
“You wanna keep it between us for now?” Eric asked. You looked up to Richard and thought for a moment.   
“Tell Robert too, but no one else...yet” You said. Richard smiled and squeezed your hand. Eric smiled and nodded.  
“Alright, no problemo” He smiled. You nodded and smiled.   
“Me and Robert should be coming across in a few anyway, we need to make the final checks for the episode before we send it off to be aired” Eric said. You smiled and nodded.   
  
Richard smiled.   
“You want me to stick around with you?” He asked you, rubbing your hand.   
“I don’t mind...” You shrugged.  
“I’ll chill in my trailer, just come over if you wanna do anything later on” He smiled and kissed you gently before leaving your trailer. You watched him leave and smiled slightly, before looking to Eric.  
“You happy?” He asked. You chuckled and nodded.  
“He treat you well?” He asked again.   
“Amazing...” You trailed off. Eric smiled and nodded.  
“You tell me if he hurts you” He said. You smiled and nodded.

A while later, Robert walked in with a disc. You moved to create some room on the sofa for him after he put the disc into the dvd player.   
“Before we start this Rob, y/n and Richard have finally started a relationship” Eric said. Robert smiled and nodded.  
“That’s fine, I’m guessing it’s staying between us 4 for now” He said. You smiled and nodded. Robert smiled and flicked the tv on.  
“That’s fine” He smiled and sat down.

After the episode finished, you nodded to them both.   
“That looks so much better than I expected it to...even the….” You trailed off, but both understood that you meant the scene you couldn’t film. They smiled.  
“Amazing. We can send it off to production then. I’ve requested that there be a message at the start to inform the fans that they may suffer from the episode, and that all profits raised are going for the NAMI” Robert said. You smiled and nodded.   
“Awesome” You said before sending Rich a text.  
“Sorted. Coming over soon” You sent to him. Eric and Robert stood and smiled.  
“See you later, y/n. Shoot me a text if you need anything” Eric said before leaving with Robert. You collected what you needed to before leaving your trailer and walking across the lot to Richard’s. You knocked on the door, and walked in when Richard opened the door. He invited you in while he sorted through his possessions for a few moments.

You watched him for a few moments before he walked over.  
“Ready to go?” He asked. You smiled and nodded. He smiled and took your hand as you walked over to his car.   
“You wanna come to my place for a bit?” You offered. He smiled.  
“If you want me to” He said as you both climbed into his car. You smiled and nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

When you arrived at home, you climbed out of the car and unlocked the house, inviting Richard in. You decided you were going to tell him about your depression, even if only a little, he deserved to know. You sat on the sofa and watched as he sat beside you and wrapped an arm around you.  
“I think...I think I’m ready to talk...even only a little” You whispered. Richard nodded and continued to massage your shoulders. You smiled slightly and kissed his jaw before taking a deep breath.   
“It started when I was a teenager...” You trailed off.   
“The bullying, the abuse...” You sighed.   
“It all built up and I couldn’t afford the support. My dad was a drunk, spent every penny he earned on the next bottle of Jack. My mom wanted to leave, she wanted to protect us...but she was scared...he killed her before she got a chance to escape...” You trailed off, a tear trailing down your cheek. Richard wiped it away but still didn’t speak. You leant into the touch slightly.   
“With my mom gone...the abuse got worse...until it got…” You trailed off, a sob leaving your throat.   
“I understand” Richard said and held you. You sobbed into his chest and he held you, his hands not leaving your shoulders. You eventually calmed down enough to talk some more.  
“I barely made it through high school...the bullying didn’t leave” You whispered.   
“I managed to get through it with all A’s, but my mental health was non-existent. While this was happening, my dad decided to have another kid with a random...so I have a half-brother, somewhere around” You shrugged. Richard moved his hand to hold your own.   
“I got my first boyfriend when I was 19, he was 23. It should have raised a flag that he didn’t have any qualifications, no job and lived with his parents, but had 2 other kids. But my dumb ass decided he was perfect. He wasn’t” You sighed, as you felt more tears welling up.  
“He...he” You stuttered.   
“Take your time, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to” He said softly.   
“He uh...he raped me” You eventually whispered.

You sobbed into Richard’s chest, feeling his hands move to rub your shoulders.   
“It’s okay, I’m here...you’re safe” Richard whispered, wiping the tears from your eyes.  
“I left 13 years ago...never been back there...” you said. Richard moved to sit you beside him and cuddled you gently. You held him and eventually felt the relief of finally telling your story for the first time in a long time. You eventually pulled away and smiled slightly. Richard stroked his thumb over your cheek.   
“It’s okay. We can do everything at your pace...” He promised. You smiled and nodded.  
“Alright...” you whispered. He smiled and brushed over your cheek gently.   
“Wanna order some food?” He asked, noting it was 5.30pm. You shrugged.  
“I’m not really hungry...you can order some though” You said. He smiled.   
“I’ll order you something anyway, just in case” He smiled. You nodded and curled close to his chest. Richard pulled his phone out and quickly ordered the food.   
  
A while later, you decided to go and change into some pyjamas. You looked over the different pairs you had, all of them were shorts and t-shirts. You decided that you might as well show him, that you’d already told him about them so it didn’t make too much of a difference. You pulled out the blue vest and white and blue striped short shorts that went with it. You pulled them on and removed your bra, putting your clothes into the laundry basked. You walked back down and sat beside him, watching as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You smiled and curled close to his chest. You frowned when your stomach grumbled.   
“Hungry?” He chuckled, and kissed the top of your head. You smiled.  
“Apparently so” You chuckled. Richard smiled and kissed the top of your head, looking over when he heard your mail box flap open and close. You sighed and stood up, going to find out what it was. You grabbed the envelope from the floor and opened it with shaky hands. You knew what it was before unfolding the letter. The stamp of your high school’s logo at the top was enough for you to know it wasn’t worth your time. You walked back into the living room and sat beside Richard, throwing the letter onto the table.   
“Anything interesting?” He asked.   
“Nope. ‘Hey do you wanna come back to the place that made you want to die, to see the people who made you want to die?’” You said, mimicking your head teacher’s voice. Richard chuckled and picked the letter up.   
“Apparently they’d greatly appreciate if you went to show that people from McKinley High School can get somewhere in life” He said, quoting the letter.   
“Get somewhere after leaving the entire state” You chuckled.   
“Why not go? Just to prove to everyone that you’ve gotten somewhere in life” Richard said.  
“I play an almost non-existent role on a tv show and got nothing to show, still not got over my depression and still want to die” You shrugged.  
“Or, you look at it in a positive way. You play a beloved role on one of the best selling, longest running TV series in US history. Plus, you got me” He smiled and held your hand. You shrugged.  
“I don’t know...I don’t even know if the few teachers I got on with are still there” You sighed. Richard rubbed your hand and looked up when there was a knock at the door.   
“You won’t know until you try” He smiled and went to collect the food. You sighed and shoved the letter aside. You were barely starting to get your life together, was it really worth it?

 

Richard walked in a few moments later with an array of appetisers from the chinese take-out down the road. You chuckled and occasionally nibbled on things until eventually it had all gone. You and Richard were curled together watching a horror movie.   
“If I was to go back...would you go with me?” You asked, looking to the letter. You’d been racking your brains over it for the past few hours.   
“If you want me to, I will” He smiled and held your hand. You smiled.   
“I’ll think about it” You said, yawning slightly. Richard kissed your head and smiled.   
“Wanna head up to bed?” Richard asked. You shrugged and nodded.  
“I guess...do you want to?” You asked, biting your lip slightly.   
“If you do” He said and rubbed your shoulder. You smiled and nodded, despite a yawn. Richard smiled and stood up, lifting you up and carrying you up to bed. He laid you on the bed and smiled, kissing you gently, before stripping to his boxers again.

He climbed into the bed beside you and laid on his side.  
“How you feeling about us...I know it’s only early days, but are you comfortable? Is there anything I can do?” He asked, trailing a hand down your side and resting it on your waist.  
“You’re amazing...so long as you keep going how you are” You said quietly. Richard smiled and rubbed his thumb in small circles.   
“Good...tell me if I do something wrong though...I love you, I want to be with you and I don’t want to hurt you” He said. You nodded and moved closer to cuddle him. Richard moved to hold you.   
“I just...there’s a lot about me that you don’t know...don’t be scared to ask things” You whispered. He nodded and held you close.   
“If you ever wanna just rant about stuff, you know where I am” He promised, cupping your cheek and lifting your head just enough that you were making eye contact. You smiled and nodded slightly, reaching up to kiss him gently. Richard smiled and held you close.   
“Thank you” He whispered.  
“Shouldn’t I be thanking you?” You said, confused.   
“You’ve given me a chance of happiness that I haven’t had for a long time” He smiled, tracing his thumb along your jaw.

You leant into the touch slightly and smiled.   
“Well...you’re welcome I guess” You said softly. Richard smiled softly and moved so you could sleep on his chest, wrapping the duvet tighter around the pair of you.  
“Get some sleep sweetie” He whispered when you yawned. You nodded and smiled, curling close to him. He kissed the top of your head as you fell asleep.  
  
It was the first night in over 20 years that you slept for a full night, and didn’t wake up once.

 


	15. Chapter 15

When you awoke the next morning, and you realised that you didn’t need to be up for a while, you relished in the feel of Richard’s arms around you. You tried to go back to sleep for a while, but those thoughts kept coming back. Eventually they got to much, and tears spilled over. Richard quickly woke when he heard the quiet sobs.   
“Hey, hey, hey what’s wrong?” He asked, moving to sit you both up. He cupped your face and gently wiped away the tears. He held you close and hugged you when there was no answer.   
“Talk to me” He whispered, stroking his hand through your hair. You eventually stopped crying long enough to form a sentence, although, it didn’t make much sense to him.   
“I just want it all to stop”   
  
Richard held you close to his chest until you eventually cried yourself back to sleep. He didn’t stop stroking his fingers through your hair, even as you were sleeping. Instead, he moved so you were both laying down again. He laid on his side and watched as you slept, protecting you.   
  
It wasn’t long before you awoke again. This time, you were more in control of how you felt. Normally, after an ‘episode’ as you’d come to call it, a blade would be the first thing that you searched for, but having Richard by your side...you couldn’t. You don’t know what it was, you just couldn’t force yourself to do it. Instead, you curled close to Richard and just let the time pass. Eventually, you knew you’d have to move. But you didn’t want to move.

  
“I uh...I should go home and change...unless you want me to stay?” Richard asked. A few hours had passed, but neither of you had moved yet. You shrugged.  
“I guess...” You trailed off.  
“I mean, you could come with me to my apartment...but it’s your choice” He said, moving to sit up.   
“Well...” You trailed off and looked to where you kept the blade hidden. Richard followed your line of sight and frowned. All he saw was a small box.   
“Is there something in there…?” He asked. You nodded shakily and looked down, avoiding his eyes as he opened the box. He pulled out the blade and frowned, cupping your cheeks and lifting your head to meet his gaze.   
“Recent?” He asked. It was vague, but you knew what he was asking. You also knew you could easily ask him to stop, tell him to fuck off and he would. But he didn’t deserve that. The hurt in his eyes, it hurt you too. You slowly nodded, almost barely noticeable. But he saw it.   
“C-can I see?” He stuttered slightly. You looked down.  
“Shit, sorry. You don’t have to if you don’t want to...I just want to make sure you’re okay” He said. You nodded and shakily removed the blanket, revealing your thighs. They were still bloody, and sore. He gently brushed his thumb over the wounds.  
“Can you try to stop?” He asked softly. You looked down.  
“I know it’s hard...I really do. But with the right supports, I know you can do it. I have faith in you” He whispered and cupped your hands.   
  
You eventually nodded.  
“I’ll try” You whispered.  
“That’s enough of an answer for me” He smiled slightly. His smile was so infectious, if he smiled, everyone else would smile. Including you.   
“Would you like a back rub in the bath?” He asked.  
“Or even just here” He said afterwards, remembering he didn’t want to rush it. You smiled.  
“That would be nice...c’mon, the bath is downstairs” You smiled.   
“Are you sure?” He asked, climbing out of the bed with you. You smiled and nodded, holding a hand out for him

 


	16. Chapter 16

When the bath was filled with water, you stripped off. It was your first time being naked in front of someone for a long, long time. So naturally, you were anxious bound to be anxious...except you were more comfortable than you expected to be. Richard kissed your neck gently as he also stripped off. He climbed into the tub and held a hand out to help you climb in, which you took. You laid down, resting your head on his chest. Richard smiled and stroked his fingers through your hair.   
“I want to take you on a date. Like a proper date, movie and a meal, or something similar” He said. You nodded.  
“Are you sure? I mean, I’m just me” You shrugged.   
“’Just me?’ Babe...I love you for you” He whispered. You shrugged.  
“You can if you want...I just feel that you could better spend your time and money” You said. Richard shook his head but didn’t say anything.

Instead he chose to shift positions until you were sat in his lap, facing away from him. He massaged over your shoulders, and you could feel all of the tension floating away. Richard worked at the knots in your shoulders and the moans you were making were almost pornographic.   
“Feel better?” Richard asked, a while later. You felt almost boneless.   
“Fucking amazing” You chuckled. Richard smiled.  
“Good” He said, stroking his fingers through your hair.

You smiled and curled close to his chest.   
“What do you want to do today?” He asked.   
“Well...you wanted to go to your place to, I assume, get some clean clothes” You said. Richard nodded.  
“Yeah, it’ll only take a few moments to change though...unless you want me to stay again tonight?” He said.  
“I don’t mind, you can if you want to” You smiled and kissed his jaw.   
“We can see how it goes later” He said. You smiled and nodded.   



	17. Chapter 17

Once you were dressed, you watched as Richard shoved his boxer shorts into his pocket and dressed.  
“Commando?” You asked. He chuckled and nodded.  
“Not complaining, are you?” He asked.   
“Nope” You smirked and pulled him down into a deep kiss.

You trailed your hands down his back, cupping his ass. Richard groaned and lifted you up. You groaned and wrapped your legs around him, deepening the kiss. You knotted your hands into his hair slightly and didn’t move from your position.   
  
Eventually you had to pull away, to regain your breath. Richard smiled widely, his hands not moving from your waist.  
“Damn” You panted.   
“Good?” Richard asked, chuckling slightly. You smiled widely and nodded.  
“Amazing” You chuckled.   
“Good, I’m glad” He smiled. You chuckled and kissed him gently, before climbing down.

Richard chuckled and rested his hand on your waist, smirking slightly. You chuckled and trailed his hand down to your ass before pushing it off with a wink, going off to locate your purse. Richard groaned and watched you.   
“God damn, you’re gorgeous” He said, standing in the doorway. He leant against the door frame and watched your every move with love in his eyes. Eventually you moved over to him and leant up to kiss him gently. You’d never been so happy in your life.


	18. Chapter 18

You pulled up outside an apartment block a while later. It wasn’t somewhere you’d expected him to live, he had a significant amount of money but he clearly didn’t spend it on his house. You climbed out of the passenger seat and waited for Richard by the door. He climbed out of the car a moment after you and took your hand as he walked you inside and up the stairs. He unlocked a door a while later. You looked inside and frowned.  
“Sorry...it’s a bit shitty. I provide for my parents so they got a nice house and I chose to take this place” He said. You kissed him gently.   
“You’re amazing” You whispered. Richard shrugged and invited you in.

You smiled slightly and watched him moving around for a moment.   
“Just gonna put some clean clothes on” He smiled and walked into a room. You leaned against the counter and pulled your phone out, not that anyone would text you anyway. You looked up when Richard walked out, the sight that met you took your breath away. It was one you’d experienced before, but you were truly able to appreciate it now. Richard was topless. He was more muscular than you’d expected, and you could feel yourself almost salivating at the sight of him. Richard chuckled and pulled on a t-shirt, much to your dismay.

You smiled and pulled him down into a kiss. You grinned and moved your mouth to his neck, leaving barely – visible marks. Richard groaned lowly and copied your actions on your neck. You moaned and scratched your hand down his back, nipping and biting. Soon enough, you and him were at each other’s necks like vampires, but you loved it. You loved the feeling of being marked... _wanted_.

Eventually, you pulled apart. Richard’s neck was littered with marks, you could only imagine what yours looked like.   
“Was that...okay?” He asked softly. You smiled and nodded.  
“Amazing...thank you for asking though” You smiled. Richard smiled and moved his hands from your ass. You chuckled slightly and bit your lip. He smiled and kissed you gently, before moving to grab his car keys.   
“Movies?” He asked. You shrugged.  
“Up to you, but if we want to keep us a secret, we might need to cover this” You chuckled and gestured to your neck. Richard smiled and chuckled.  
“Yeah...I have scarves?” He offered.   
“You can wear a scarf, but in this weather, I’d rather just wear some make up” You chuckled and pulled the concealer from your purse. Richard chuckled and smiled, watching as you moved to a mirror to cover your neck. Richard pulled a black scarf out and wrapped it around his neck, pulling a black coat on. You watched and smiled.   
“Want to go for dinner after?” He asked. You smiled.   
“We can if you want” You smiled. Richard nodded and smiled, putting his glasses into his pocket, along with his wallet. You smiled.   
“Might go well afterwards, if you wanna pack a bag this time” You chuckled.   
  
Richard smiled and went into his bedroom. He returned a moment later with a shoulder bag. You watched and smiled, holding your hand out for him when he walked over. He smiled and held your hand as you walked out of the apartment and down the stairs with him, avoiding the various bodily fluids that covered the floor. You felt for him, you wanted to offer your spare room but you didn’t want to rush things. You rubbed Richard’s hand and let it go when you got outside, moving to climb into the passenger seat of the car, while he put his bag in the trunk before climbing into the driver’s seat. You smiled and rubbed his thigh slightly, sitting comfortably as he drove off to the cinema.


	19. Chapter 19

Richard parked in the darkened parking lot that led to the cinema. You smirked and briefly looked around to see that no one was around, before climbing into Richard’s lap and kissing him deeply. Richard groaned slightly and moved his hands to your waist. You moaned lowly and rolled your hips slightly, just testing the waters. Richard didn’t push you any further, and eventually, you decided to pull away, before it got too much. Richard stroked his thumb over your cheek gently.   
“How you feeling? Was that alright?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“It was amazing” You smiled and brushed your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly. Richard smiled.   
“Good, ready to get out and go to the movie?” He asked. You smiled and nodded, moving back to your slide to climb out.   
  
Richard smiled and climbed out, before moving to help you climb out.   
“God you’re stunning” He breathed. You blushed and smiled.   
“You don’t need to lie” You muttered.  
“I’m not lying. I want to show you off to the world to see just how gorgeous you are” He said. You blushed and hugged him.   
“We can tell people soon...I just need time” You whispered. Richard cupped your cheek and brushed a stray hair back.   
“We can take as long as you need” He promised.

You smiled slightly and held his hand in your own as you led him into the building. No one was around, likely because it was the middle of summer, and you were grateful of it because you could indulge yourself slightly. 

“Horror?” Richard asked, looking over the screenings. You shrugged.  
“I don’t mind” You smiled. Richard chuckled and walked over to the desk. You looked over the various confectioneries.   
“Want popcorn?” He asked you.  
“Sure” You smiled. A few moments later, he came over with a pot of pop corn and two tickets.   
“We can go in any time now” He smiled. You smiled and stole a piece of popcorn before following him through to the screen room. There was only a few other people in the room. You smirked and moved to sit on the back row in the corner, where no one would see you. Richard smiled and balanced the popcorn on the arm rest, watching as you moved to sit in his lap, cuddling close. He smiled and kissed the top of your head as the lights went dark. You shifted around until you and Richard were spooning on the seat, which was a slight tight fit until he lifted the arm rest. You chuckled and curled close as the movie began.

As the movie progressed, you curled closer to his chest. His hands were resting on your waist, protecting you. You smiled in the darkness and kissed him gently. Richard moaned lowly and shifted so you were sat in his lap. You deepened the kiss until you had to pull away to breathe. Richard smiled slightly and brushed his thumb over your cheek. You smiled and connected your hand with his.


	20. Chapter 20

When the movie ended, you left before everyone else did. You walked out of the movie theatre and back into the darkened parking lot.   
“It’s 4.30, what would you prefer to do, go grab a burger or something like that, or go to a restaurant?” Richard asked.  
“I don’t mind” You smiled. Richard smiled and moved to lean against his car, pulling you close.   
“Well, there’s supposedly a nice little place just out of town I’ve been meaning to try for a while” He said. You smiled slightly and rested your hands on his waist. Richard smiled and kissed you gently, chuckling when you reached into his pocket to press the button to unlock his car.

You smiled and watched as he opened the door for you, helping you sit in. You smiled and kissed him before he moved around to the other side and climbed into the driver’s seat. You smiled and rubbed his hand again.   
“Thank you” You whispered.  
“Today has been amazing” You said and kissed his cheek gently.  
“Well, you’re welcome. I haven’t really done anything though” He smiled. You shook your head.  
“You’ve been amazing” You smiled. Richard smiled and shook his head as he drove towards the restaurant.   
“If you say so, but I promise you, this is just me being kind” He smiled. You smiled and rested your hand on his thigh as he drove to the restaurant.

\- x -

After the restaurant, Richard drove you both back to your house. Throughout the entirety of the past three days that you’d spent with him, he’d been a true gentleman and so much more. You held his hand and tugged him inside, pushing him against the door as it closed and kissing him deeply. Richard groaned and rested his hands on your waist. You moaned lowly and wrapped your legs around his waist. Richard groaned and walked you through to the living room, his bag discarded by the door. He laid you on the sofa and knelt over you, kissing you deeper.   
“God” He panted. You blushed slightly and decided to test your barriers slightly. You carefully started to unbutton your blouse and smirked to Richard.  
“Are you sure?” He asked. You nodded and smiled, pushing it off your shoulders. Richard smiled.  
“Tell me, if I over-step a boundary, or if you want to stop” He said.   
  
You smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss him again, reaching back. You attempted to unhook your bra for a few moments before you felt Rich’s hands take over and you felt the bra come away. You moaned lowly and watched as he mouthed along your chest. You groaned and knotted your hands into his hair, pushing his mouth down slightly. He chuckled and took your nipple into his mouth. You moaned louder and shifted so you could wrap your legs around his waist. You could feel how hard he was, and internally, you were having a party. It was you who made him this hard, and nothing else.   
“Someone’s eager” he chuckled. You blushed and bit your lip slightly. He smiled and kissed you gently.  
“You like?” You asked anxiously. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“Fuckin’ love you” He said. You chuckled and kissed him gently.   
“Wanna head up to bed?” Richard asked, when he noted you were becoming weary. You smiled and nodded. Richard smiled and lifted you up, carrying you up the stairs and laying your bed. You smiled and watched as he ran downstairs, picked up his bag before running back up the stairs. He smiled to you and put the bag on the floor before stripping off and climbing into bed with you.   
“Hey...I know we’re only just...like a thing...why don’t you move in here? I have the space and the money, plus...you’ve helped me with so much in such a little space of time” You said.  
“Would you want me to?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yeah...” You trailed off, rubbing his hand. You leant up and kissed him gently. Richard smiled.  
“We’ll see how it goes. We can always trial it for a week or so” He said. You smiled and nodded. Richard moved to curl close to you, resting his head on your shoulder. You kissed him gently as you both started to fall to sleep.

2.47 rolled around and you were awake again. This time, you were tracing swirls over Richard’s chest. You could feel the urge overcoming you again, the toilet was calling out to you. But you resisted. You held it back. The feel of Richard holding you close was almost enough to help you. Almost.

4.57 was lit up on the clock and everything just became overwhelming. You’d just sent an email to your school to confirm you would attend the Reunion, and that you had a plus one going. Your heart was pounding away in your chest. You could feel tears spilling over, you were managing to hold the sobs back, but the tears were streaming. You felt Richard’s hand move from your back to stroking through your hair. Through tear filled eyes, you looked up to him. His eyes were still closed, but you knew he was awakening. You rubbed at your eyes until they were sore, attempting to hide the tears.   
“Hey, don’t hurt yourself...what’s up?” Richard asked. You shook your head and continued rubbing until Richard took ahold of both of your hands.  
“Stop it” He said, slightly more firm. You fought against his grip for a few moments before eventually just giving up. Richard loosened his grip on your hands and hugged you.  
“Talk to me” He whispered. You shook your head.   
  
This was something you didn’t want to tell him, not yet. Richard gently brushed his thumb over your cheek.  
“Is it anything I can help with?” He asked. You shook your head and held him close.  
“Just want to cuddle for the rest of the morning?” He asked with a small smile. You smiled and nodded. Richard smiled and shifted around until you were laid on top of him.  
“See, I think the best way to cuddle, is just wrapped around each other” He said, and wrapped his legs around yours, and his arms around you. You smiled and curled close. He was right, it did feel pretty damn good. Richard smiled and kissed your cheek gently. Eventually, you fell back to sleep, with Richard’s hand stroking through your hair.

You awoke to the feel of the sun shining through a gap in the curtains and onto your back, where Richard’s hand was tracing small circles.  
“Morning princess” He whispered, barely breaking the peaceful silence of the room. You looked up to him and smiled slightly.  
“Feeling okay this morning?” He asked, watching you.   
“Better…I emailed my school last night” You trailed off, looking away slightly. Richard cupped your cheek.   
“And…?” He trailed off, a sign for you to continue.   
  
“I confirmed I was attending with a plus one” You said. Richard smiled slightly and kissed you gently.   
“You want me to go with you?” Richard asked, although he already knew the answer. You smiled and nodded.  
“If you want to come with me” You said. Richard chuckled.   
“Alright. When is it?” He asked.   
“August 25th, just before classes restart” You smiled. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“Is it formal wear?” He asked.   
“Yeah, suits and gowns” You chuckled.

“Favourite” He chuckled.   
“I need to go out and buy a gown before then” You said. Richard smiled and kissed your cheek.  
“If you want, I can pay for you a pamper day before the actual event?” He offered. You shrugged.  
“I don’t mind” You smiled and cuddled close. Richard smiled.   
“What do you want to do today?” He asked.  
“Well, I quite fancy just going shopping” You smiled. Richard chuckled.   
“Sounds fun, anywhere in particular?” He asked, moving to lean against the headboard.  
“That new out of town shopping mall looks cool” You smiled.   
  
Richard nodded.  
“Can go there if you want” He smiled. You smiled.  
“Gonna shower first though” You said. Richard nodded.  
“You go shower, I’ll make us both breakfast” He smiled. You smiled and nodded.  
“Alright...don’t blow my house up” You chuckled.   
“Don’t worry” He said and kissed you gently. You smiled and pulled him close again.   
“Just wanna cuddle with you” You grumbled. Richard smirked and cuddled close to you.  
“Sure you wanna go out today?” He chuckled. You shrugged.  
“Might prefer to binge Netflix in here with you instead” You smirked. Richard chuckled.  
“Could do that instead” He smiled, stroking his hand down your back. You smiled and curled closer, resting your head on his chest.   
“I want to tell someone else about us...” You whispered.

 


	21. Chapter 21

“What…?” Richard trailed off, frowning slightly.   
“I want to tell people about us...even if its just a few people” You said.   
“Okay...anyone in particular?” Richard asked.   
“I’m not sure...it’s not like I have family to tell” You said. Richard smiled sadly and stroked his fingers through your hair.   
“I should ring mine soon actually...it’s my parent’s silver wedding anniversary soon” He said. You smiled.  
“Oh, when is it?” You asked.  
“May 19th” Richard smiled. You smiled softly and kissed his cheek.   
“They doing anything special?” You asked.  
“I think they’re going for a family meal, I’m not sure for certain though” Richard smiled.

You curled close and smiled.  
“Actually, I might ring them now” He smiled. You smiled and handed him a landline phone. He smiled and punched the number in before holding it to his ear. You could hear it ringing as you traced swirls over his chest.   
“Hey mom” He answered when a woman answered the phone. You watched and smiled.   
“How’s life?” Richard asked, stroking his fingers through your hair. You smiled slightly.  
“Going to the toilet” You mouthed to him. He nodded and smiled, watching you leave.   
  
“What night is your anniversary dinner?” Richard asked his mom when you laid back in the bed, curling up slightly.  
“19th May, it’s a saturday this year. We’re going for a meal with your sisters and their partners. Have you got a plus one coming, or is it just you?” His mom asked.  
“I do have a plus one” Richard smiled. You smiled and kissed his cheek.   
“Who is she? Have I met her before?” Richard’s mom asked.  
“You haven’t met her before but you will in time” He smiled.

You yawned slightly and felt yourself drifting off.  
“Anyway mom, I’ll probably ring you before the date to confirm and arrange accommodation, but I’m gonna go so I’ll see you later” He said.   
“Alright sweetie” You heard his mom say.  
“Love you” Richard said before ending the call.   
“19th May they’re going for a meal” He smiled. You smiled.  
“So...I’m you’re plus one” You said.   
“Yeah, or I hope you are or I’m going alone” Richard chuckled. You smiled.  
“I’ll go with you” you said and stroked your fingers through his hair.   



	22. Chapter 22

A few weeks had passed and your relationship with Richard was going amazing. You’d stayed clean from self harm for longer than ever before, and you’d only slipped up once in the entire time. Richard had just about fully moved in with you. You were still struggling with your eating disorder, and somehow, Richard still hadn’t found out...but that was all about to change.   
  
You were awake at 2am as usual one April night. Richard’s arm was around your waist, and as much as his touch grounded you, tonight, it wasn’t helping much. You slid out of the bed and to the bathroom. You slid down the wall and sighed. The urge had become stronger more recently, and holding back wasn’t helping. You moved to kneel over the toilet and pushed your finger into your throat until you felt it coming.

“Y/n…?” Richard trailed off, from behind you. You cursed internally, knowing he’d seen the entire event, which was just what you’d hoped wouldn’t happen. He knelt beside you as you vomited, stroking his fingers through your hair as he held it back. It eventually all came out, and you were panting when you felt Richard kiss your cheek gently. Tears began streaming down your cheeks more and more.   
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” You cried, repeating it over and over. Richard closed the toilet lid, flushed it and moved so you were sat on the bed. He knelt in front of you and cupped your cheek.  
“Don’t apologise...just talk to me” He whispered. You nodded and wiped your eyes slightly. Richard moved so you and him were facing each other, and he crossed his legs. You looked to the carpet, to the various stains that covered it, to the ceiling and the way the shadows highlighted the dust. Eventually you decided to just look beyond Richard’s shoulder.  
“Did I just see you…?” He trailed off. You knew what he meant, you knew he’d seen the entire thing.

You nodded, still avoiding his eyes.  
“Why…?” He asked with a whisper. You shrugged.  
“Just something I’ve always done...keeps my weight down and the urges to hurt myself are gone” You admitted. Richard reached out and took your hand in his own.   
“Babe...” He whispered. He didn’t know what to say. You cupped his hand when you could see tears forming in his eyes.  
“Why couldn’t you talk to me...” He whispered. You shook your head.

“I’m sorry...” You whispered. He brushed his thumb over your cheek, brushing tears away.  
“Babe...talk to me” He whispered. You sighed, this is it. _He’s gonna leave you._   
  
“I’m not good enough for you...” You whispered, pulling your hands away. Richard shook his head.  
“Fuck no” He said. You shook your head.  
“You’re gorgeous, funny, amazing, clever...perfect” You said.   
“I’m just...me” You finished. Richard moved to pull you close.  
“I’m not. I’m clumsy, stupid, immature...you’re the perfect one” He said.

You shook your head and looked down.   
“I’m everything you don’t deserve...hurt, fear, anger” You whispered.  
“You’re everything I want...” He whispered. You rubbed your eyes.  
“Why?”   
“Because I love you...I’ve loved you since the day you walked onto set” He whispered. You blushed and looked at him, to check if he was joking. You could see he was being deadly serious. You reached up to brush the tears from his cheek. He cupped your hand in his own and brought it to his mouth, kissing slightly. You smiled sadly.  
“Don’t hurt yourself baby...” He whispered.   
“Especially not for me...I love you as you are” He said. You nodded shakily, and leant against his chest, crying quietly. Richard stroked his fingers through your hair and kissed the top of your head.  
“Will you try to stop...I know how hard it is...But you’ve got all the supports” He whispered.  
  
You nodded.  
“I’ll try” You whispered. He smiled and held you. You curled closer and cuddled up to him when he laid down. You smiled and kissed him gently. Eventually you fell back to sleep, and it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from your shoulders. Richard didn’t sleep for the rest of the night, he spent the time instead choosing to watch you sleeping in his arms.  
  



	23. Chapter 23

After Richard had found out about your eating disorder, he’d become more aware of how little you ate. He often tried to get you to eat a little more, and most of the time he was successful, but he’s worried about the next few days. You and him are going to Tennessee for a week, for his parent’s anniversary. You watched him as he lifted the two small suitcases into the car, placing his suit on the top of them, and hanging your dress with it. You smiled and grabbed the remaining bag of smaller items, before locking the house.   
“Ready?” You asked. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“If you are” He smiled. He leant down and kissed you gently. You still hadn’t told many people about you and him, but a few more people were aware now. You smiled and rested your hand on his waist slightly. Eventually, you pulled away with a smile.   
“C’mon, I’ll drive” He promised. You smiled and climbed into the passenger seat as Richard climbed into the driver’s side.

You smiled and curled up on the seat, slipping your shoes off.   
“Comfortable?” Richard asked with a smirk.  
“Yeah, are you?” You smiled.   
“Yeah, there’s a blanket under the seat if you want it” He said. You smiled and reached under, pulling the blanket out and wrapping it around yourself. You smiled and kissed Richard’s cheek as he started to drive away.   
  
A few hours later and he pulled up at a truck stop.  
“Want a burger?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“Sure, I’ll come with you cos I need a piss” You chuckled. Richard smiled and climbed out of the car with you. You smiled and took his hand as you walked inside.   
“I’ll wait out here” He said, standing outside of the toilets. You smiled and went into the toilets. Richard looked down when his phone rang.  
“Hey Eric, ‘sup” Richard said.   
“Have you seen the news today?” Eric asked.   
“Uh, not massively. Why, what’s happened?” Richard asked, watching as you walked out.   
“Someone’s got a picture of you guys together” Eric said.  
“Shit” Richard cursed. You looked up and frowned slightly.  
“Alright, I’ll talk to y/n and see what she says, and I’ll text you later” Richard said before ending the call.

You watched him on his phone for a few minutes.  
“Someone’s seen us together” Richard said as you reached the queue for the burger shop. You frowned and looked at his phone when he showed you the picture.  
“Oh man, it’s not even a good picture. Look at my hair” You said. Richard chuckled.  
“You’re not bothered that people know about us?” He asked. You shook your head.  
“It was gonna come out eventually, can’t hide it when someone’s taken a picture of it” You said. Richard smiled and leant down to kiss you deeply. You smiled and slid your hand into his jeans pocket. You smirked and eventually pulled away, moving with the queue. Richard smiled.   
“Well, at least now I can show everyone just how much you mean to me” He smiled. You blushed slightly. Richard chuckled and ordered you and him both a burger and fries, along with some drinks. While you waited, you looked down to your phone when you felt it vibrating. You’d gone from having zero friend requests on Facebook too having almost 50 from people you went to school with. You declined them all, chuckling slightly.

Richard smiled and held his hand out for you to take, which you did, and followed him out to the car.

“I just wanna warn you now, my parent’s might not fully understand everything surrounding your eating disorder and stuff, but they mean no harm” He promised. You smiled and nodded.  
“Don’t worry” You smiled. He smiled and nodded.  
“If you’re certain” He smiled. You nodded and climbed into the car with him.   
“Yeah, if anything does come out of it, you can always explain that it’s been a thing, and still is occasionally” You whispered. Richard smiled and nodded, opening the bags to get the burgers.

A while later and you guys were back on the road again.  
“It’s all good me going home, my accent’s gonna come back and I’m gonna sound like an idiot” Richard sighed. You chuckled.  
“I’ve never heard your accent” You smirked. Richard chuckled and rubbed your thigh.   
“You’re not missing out on much” He chuckled. You smirked.  
“I think you’d sound sexy with an accent” You smirked. Richard rolled his eyes and smiled.  
“You’ll see, I don’t” He chuckled. You smiled and shook your head, watching as you drove through Missouri, the buildings whizzing by.

“Not too long” He promised. You smiled and nodded. You pulled out your phone and looked at it for a while. There were two days until you were going to dinner with his family. You were anxious about meeting them, but you knew Richard would help you.


	24. Chapter 24

You awoke to find that Richard was driving down a small street.  
“Nearly there?” You asked, rubbing your eyes.   
“Yeah, here now” He said. You looked up at the houses and smiled.  
“You ready?” He asked as he parked the car.  
“Yeah...i think so” You muttered. Richard smiled.   
“C’mon, lets go...just stay outside so I can tell my momma about you first” He said. You smiled and nodded.  
“Alright” You smiled, climbing out of the car. Richard smiled and took your hand, opening the door.   
“Stay here” He said before walking to the kitchen.   
“Hey mom...close your eyes. There’s someone I want you to meet” He said.

You watched and smiled.   
“Alright Ricky, it better not be another prank though” she said. Richard smiled.   
“It’ s not, trust me” He said before walking out to you. You smiled and took his hand as he led you through.  
“Mom…meet y/n...she’s mine” He said. You smiled and kissed his cheek as his mom opened her eyes.   
“No way! She’s beautiful” His mom gasped. You blushed and looked down. Richard smiled.  
“I know...I’m so lucky” He whispered. You shrugged and smiled.  
“I’m really not that amazing” You whispered. Richard smiled and shook his head.  
“We disagree”

You smiled and held his hand.   
“How long have you known each other?” His mom asked. Richard moved to lean against the counter, and held you close.  
“When I started on Supernatural...ooh about 7 years ago now” He said. You nodded.   
“And how long have you been a couple…?” She asked.   
“Uh...three months. Should be longer but I was a pussy” Richard chuckled.  
“Language Richard” His mom tutted. You smirked.

“Who’s this beautiful young lady then?” A man asked from the door way. Richard smiled.  
“Hey dad” You watched Richard and smiled. Richard kissed your cheek and moved to boil the kettle.  
“Coffee anyone?” He asked. You looked to the clock and shook your head.   
“I’m gonna head off to bed soon, it’s getting late” You said. Richard smiled and nodded, kissing you gently.   
“Alright, want me to get the bags and show you round?” He asked. You nodded and smiled slightly.   
“Yeah please” You said. Richard smiled and picked up his car keys. You followed him out to the car and picked up your bags when he opened the trunk. Richard smiled.  
“How you feeling?” He asked  
“Better. I’m not anxious now” You said. Richard smiled and hugged you tightly. You smiled and followed him back inside and up the stairs. Richard opened the door to a bedroom.   
“This is my old room” He smiled. You smiled and nodded, yawning slightly.   
“I’ll be up to bed soon” He promised. You smiled and kissed his cheek before removing your top and searching for the pyjamas you packed. Richard smiled and trailed his hand down your back before he went back down the stairs.

You smiled and pulled your pyjamas on before climbing into the bed. You were laid on your side, tracing your fingers over the wall when Richard walked back in. You looked over and smiled.  
“Hey” You whispered. Richard smiled and removed his t-shirt.  
“Hey cutie” He smiled. You blushed and shook your head. Richard smiled and stripped to his boxers, before climbing in beside you. You shifted around until he was facing the door and you were facing the wall, but you were still face to face. You learnt up to kiss him gently and smiled. Richard smiled and rested his hands on your waist.   
“So...you’ve met my parent’s. Got my sisters to meet, they’re probably the worst, but I’ll make sure you’re okay” He promised. You smiled and curled close.   
“I trust you to” You whispered. Richard smiled and curled close to you as you both yawned. “I’m gonna go for a jog in morning, if you wanted to come along” Richard smiled. You nodded.  
“I might do” You smiled. Richard smiled and cuddled close to you. You yawned and eventually passed out on his chest.   



	25. Chapter 25

You awoke in the morning, having had a full night of sleep. Richard had one hand resting on the top of your head, his fingers were occasionally brushing through your hair. You rested your head on his chest, you could hear his heart beating. You smiled slightly.   
“Morning” You whispered, when you felt Richard move his hand to the back of your head.

He smiled and kissed the top of your head.  
“Still going for a jog?” You asked when he yawned again, chuckling slightly. You watched as he shook his head and moved to cuddle closer to you.   
“Fuck it” He said and fell back to sleep. You chuckled and shifted so you were spooning, and fell back to sleep.

You next awoke when you heard two females burst into the room.  
“Richie” They shouted. Richard groaned and curled closer to you. You smiled slightly and turned until you could hide your face in his chest.  
“Ooh there’s a girl” One squealed. Richard groaned and threw a pillow in the direction of the door. You smiled and wrapped your arms around him, curling closer. You heard footsteps running away.  
“Thank fuck for that” He groaned.

You chuckled.  
“We should get up soon...it’s nearly 1” You said, looking at your phone. Richard groaned.  
“Five more minutes” He said. You rolled your eyes.  
“I’m gonna go get a shower soon, I need you to show me where the bathroom is...plus, you might get to come in with me” You smirked, trailing your hand down Richard’s chest. It seemed to wake him up because he was soon sat up, wide awake. You chuckled and kissed him gently.


	26. Chapter 26

Richard smiled and stroked his fingers through your hair. You smiled and curled close to him.   
“Other than showering, have you got anything planned today?” You asked him. Richard shook his head.  
“Only avoiding my sisters, but that’s something I try to do often anyway” He chuckled. You smiled.

“I sometimes wish I had a sister” You muttered.  
“I thought that, then I got those two” He said. You smiled and trailed a hand down your back.   
“You know, this room hasn’t changed since I left, nearly 20 years ago” He chuckled. You smiled and watched him climb out of the bed. He moved around for a few moments, opening a few drawers.   
“There’s something I want you to have” He said, rifling through a drawer. You moved to sit up, and watched as he climbed onto the bed and sat opposite you.

You watched him fiddle with a box.  
“My grand father gave me this when I turned 18, which may seem like many many years ago, but what he said, still sticks with me” Richard said, taking your hand in his own. You smiled and watched him.   
“He wanted to give it to his ‘true love’ but lost the chance...” Richard trailed off. You could see this was something that was important to him. He opened the box with shaky hands and put the chain around you. A silver ring sat on your chest.  
“He told me…he told me to give it to the person I wanted to marry” Richard whispered.

You smiled widely and pulled him close, hugging him tightly. Richard smiled and kissed you gently. 

“I’m not saying that’s a proposal...I understand it’s probably too soon at the minute, but in the future” He whispered, brushing his thumb over your cheek. You nodded.  
“Even if you asked now...I’d say yes” You whispered. Richard smiled slightly.   
“You would?” He asked.   
“Yeah...We’ve been friends for so long that we could’ve been in a relationship for that long. I loved you for at least 6 years” You admitted. Richard smiled widely and kissed you gently.  
“Well...y/n...would you marry me?” Richard asked. He reached into his suitcase and pulled out another small box. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, these were happy tears though. You smiled widely and nodded, hugging Richard tightly. Richard smiled and slid the ring onto your finger. You smiled and kissed him gently.


	27. Chapter 27

Richard smiled and brushed his fingers through your hair.  
“Are you sure you want to marry me? I mean...I’m not ready for sex, I don’t think I will be for a long time...I don’t think I’ll be ready for much” You whispered. The doubts were already creeping in. Richard brushed his thumb over your cheek.  
“I want you, as you are” He promised. You looked down, but nodded.   
“Even when I...” You trailed off, looking to the scars that littered your arms. Richard nodded.   
“Always” He whispered. You curled closer and smiled slightly.

Richard smiled and kissed the top of your head.   
“C’mon, I need a shower. I stink of sweat” You smiled. Richard smiled and climbed out of the bed. He held a hand out for you, watching as you climbed out of the bed. You smiled and took it.   
“Alrighty then, where’s the bathroom?” You asked.   
“Right here” Richard smiled, stood outside of the room. He opened the door to the shower room. You smiled and walked in, picking up a towel. Richard smiled and closed the door. He watched you stripping, with a love in his eyes you’d never seen on anybody before. You blushed.   
“Not getting in with me?” You asked with a smile. Richard chuckled and pushed his boxer shorts down before climbing into the small stall with you. You smiled and kissed him gently. Richard smiled and reached up to wash some soap through your hair.

You smiled and leant into the touch.   
“What time is the dinner tomorrow night?” You asked, as Richard washed the soap from your head.   
“Uh...7pm we’re leaving here, not sure what time we finish” He said, massaging your head. You moaned lowly.   
“On that topic, I need to order a taxi” He said.   
“I’ll drive if you want, I don’t think I’m going to drink alcohol” You said. Richard shrugged.  
“Are you sure? My sister is driving my other sister and their partners, so you’d be driving me and my parents” He said. You nodded.  
“Yeah, I don’t mind” You smiled. Richard smiled and kissed your cheek gently. You smiled and rested your head on his chest and smiled. Richard stroked his fingers through your hair and kissed the top of your head.

You smiled and washed some soap over his chest, biting your lip as you washed over the muscles. Richard groaned lowly and rocked his hips slightly. You smirked and leant up to kiss him, reaching down to stroke his dick. Richard moaned and jerked his hips slightly.   
“Fuck” He whispered. You smiled.  
“Good?” You asked. Richard nodded.  
“It’s not too much...is it?” He asked. You shook your head.   
“N-no...” You stuttered slightly. Richard brushed his thumb over your cheek.  
“Are you sure?” He asked, sensing your nervousness. You shrugged.  
“C’mon, you don’t have to” He said. You nodded and pulled your hand back.

Richard hugged you.   
“It’s alright” He whispered, kissing the top of your head. You hugged him tightly as tears trailed down your cheeks. Richard rubbed your back gently. You eventually took a deep breath.   
“Sorry...” You whispered.  
“Don’t apologise” He said, brushing his fingers through your hair.

 


	28. Chapter 28

You nodded and smiled sadly.   
“Are you sure you’re okay with not having anything...like that?” You asked.  
“Yeah...It’s you that I want, not just sex. It always was, and always will be” He promised. You blushed and looked down.   
“I will be ready in the future...I just need time” You whispered.  
“I know, I understand” He promised. You smiled and brushed your hand through his hair.   
“I love you” You whispered.   
“I love you too” Richard smiled and washed some soap over your body.   
“Thank you baby” You whispered. Richard smiled and kissed your cheek.   
“Take your time with everything...I don’t want you to get hurt or hurt yourself for me” He said. You smiled and kissed his cheek. You looked down to your body and frowned slightly. Richard rubbed his thumb over your hip.   
“I love you” He whispered, turning the shower off when you were both fully washed. Richard smiled and climbed out, wrapping a towel around you.

You smiled and kissed him gently, walking back through to the bedroom. Richard walked in a moment later with a towel resting low on his hips. You smiled and watched him.   
“Better now?” You asked. Richard smiled and nodded, sitting on the bed beside you and turning the TV on. You smiled and curled close to him, watching the movie.   
“Not dressing?” You asked. Richard shrugged. Him.   
“Don’t need to be doing anything today” He smiled. You chuckled and rolled your eyes.  
“Well, I am because I doubt your family want to see me naked” You chuckled. Richard rolled his eyes.   
“I know I do” He winked. You chuckled and kissed him before pulling some sweatpants on. You pulled on a bra and one of Richard’s jumpers that you’d stolen many weeks ago. Richard smiled as you climbed onto the bed beside him.   
“Fuck, I want some Relentless, or Rockstar” You sighed.  
“You want an energy drink?” He asked. You chuckled and nodded.  
“Alright, I’ll get dressed and we can go for a walk” He smiled. You smiled and nodded, watching him dress. You stood up and pulled some shoes on.


	29. Chapter 29

Richard smiled, and held a hand out for you. You smiled and followed him down the stairs.  
“Hey mom, going to the store, need anything?” He asked. You smiled and picked up your purse.   
“No thanks sweetie, will text you if we think of anything” His mom said. You smiled and took Richard’s hand as you left the house.  
“We should walk...” He said. You smiled and nodded, holding his hand. You walked with him down the street, to the store. He smiled and kissed your cheek gently.   
“Didn’t think you liked energy drinks” He smiled.   
“They’re like my favourite drink” You chuckled. Richard chuckled and walked into the store. You smiled and went to the fridges. Richard smiled and picked out two cans for you, along with a 4 pack of Pepsi for himself. You smiled and followed him to the cashier.   
“Want me to pay?” You offered.  
“It’s fine, I can” He said, putting the cans on the shelf. He picked up a pack of gum and put it on with the cans, watching the cashier scan them. Richard paid the man and took the bags, taking your hand in his own as you walked back down the street to the house. Richard smiled and walked into the house with you, walking back up the stairs. You smiled and slid your shoes off, laying on the bed. Richard smiled and put the drinks on the night stand. You smiled and curled close, resting your head on the chest. You closed your eyes and felt yourself drifting off when the door opened.

  
“Ricky!” A female voice said. He groaned and looked over.  
“What do you want?” He asked. You chuckled slightly and curled closer, yawning.   
“Just wanted to see my brother” She said. Richard rolled his eyes.  
“Doubt. Are you sure it isn’t because you think you’re missing out on something?” He said, stroking his fingers through your hair. You smiled and kissed him gently, before curling closer and falling asleep.  
“Well...” She trailed off. Richard wrapped the blanket around you and smiled.   
“Her name is y/n” He said, looking down to you, where you slept on his chest.   
“How did y’all meet?” She asked, and moved to sit down.  
“Supernatural” Richard said.   
“How old is she?” His sister asked.  
“Only three years younger” He said. You chuckled, these were the questions a father would ask you, if only you had one that gave a damn.   
“Have you met her family?” His sister asked.  
“Nope” Richard said.   
“And from what I know, I don’t think I want to” He said, kissing the top of your head. You smiled sadly, briefly opening your eyes before closing them again, curling close.   
“I want her to have a better life now, and that starts with a better family...meaning, don’t be a prick to her. She’s the best thing to happen to me in twenty years, don’t ruin it for me” He said.

You chuckled slightly and kissed him gently.  
“It’s not that hard to be better than them” You whispered. Richard smiled and rested his hand on your back. He smiled.  
“So, you’re awake?” He chuckled. You smiled and nodded.   
“Yeah” You smiled and kissed him gently. He blushed slightly and smiled.   
“You won’t lose me...” You whispered, connecting your hand with his. He smiled slightly and held you.   
“Promise?” He whispered.   
“Yeah, promise. I’m not going anywhere” You promised. Richard smiled and kissed you gently. You smiled and watched his sister squeal and run away.   
“What the fuck” He muttered. You smiled.  
“It’s a girl thing” You chuckled. He rolled his eyes.   
“Alright…” He trailed off.   
“You won’t do that will you?” He asked.   
“Who would I run off too?” You chuckled. He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek. You shifted so you were straddling him slightly, and you leant up to kiss him deeply. Richard groaned and stroked his fingers through your hair, cupping your cheek.

 

Eventually, you pulled away and smiled slightly.   
“Your sister seems nice” You chuckled.   
“Until she wants something” He said. You smiled.  
“I think most girls are like that...I can be if you want” You chuckled.   
“Yeah, main difference is that I’m willing to spend every penny I have on you” He promised. You smiled and kissed him gently.   
“You don’t have to...just don’t be a douche and I’ll be fine” You smiled. Richard chuckled.   
“Well, I promise you. I will never hurt you intentionally, if I can, it’ll be never hurt you at all” He promised. You smiled and kissed him gently. Richard chuckled and watched as you shifted so you were spooning with him as he flicked the tv on.

 


	30. Chapter 30

The next day, you were laid in the bed at 4pm, a towel around your body. You’d chosen to shower separately, with your body issues being stronger today than usual. You sighed and picked your phone up when it buzzed. You had a notification from messenger, that someone had messaged you. You opened it, and the first thing you noticed was that the surname was identical to yours, and yours was an uncommon surname. You opened the profile and looked at the picture. It was a teenager, with an older man, who significantly resembled your father. You frowned and moved to sitting, looking at the profile. You hadn’t actually read the message yet. Richard frowned when he walked in.   
“Everything alright, babe?” He asked, sitting beside you with a towel around his waist.   
“Uh...this profile has messaged me...and I think that’s my dad in the profile picture” You whispered, and showed him the profile. Richard took your phone and held it up, looking at you, and then the picture.  
“Uh...you look almost identical” He said. You frowned.  
“What?” You asked.  
“Same eye shape, but different colour, same facial structure, nose shape. Everything, it’s almost identical. Hair is completely different though, that could be a mom thing though” He said. You frowned.   
“I think, could be wrong, but I think that’s my brother” You said. Richard nodded and gave you your phone back. You read the message.   
“Hey, I know you probably get hundreds of messages a day, but I think I might be a relative of yours...is your father (Your father’s name)?” You read the message aloud and sighed.  
“Hey, yeah. In Ohio?” You sent back, before deciding to start dressing.

 

Richard watched you pull on the strapless bra and underwear, before sliding the dress on. Richard hadn’t seen you in it before, it wasn’t new, just one you didn’t really wear. You adjusted it and turned to Richard, blushing when you realised his jaw had physically dropped.   
“Holy shit” He breathed and watched you. You blushed and looked down slightly.   
“I’m so fuckin’ lucky to have you” He said, his accent slipping through. You smiled slightly and moved to kiss him gently. He smiled and rested his hand on your waist. You smiled and kissed him gently. He smiled and kissed your cheek before moving to go put some after -shave on, while you moved to the mirror to start applying some make up. You didn’t apply much, it made your allergies flare up. But you applied lipstick that complemented your dress, and some mascara. You looked through the mirror to Richard, who was watching you. You smiled and blew him a kiss, before doing your hair.

 

A while later, you were applying some perfume when Richard pulled on his suit jacket. You turned to face him and kissed his cheek, leaving a red lip print on his cheek.   
“You look absolutely gorgeous” You whispered. Richard smiled and kissed you.   
“I think you’re more gorgeous” He said, kissing you. You smiled and wiped away the lipstick from his cheek. He chuckled.  
“Glad we ordered a taxi now?” He asked, when you reached for your heels. You nodded and smiled. Richard smiled and slid his dress shoes on.   
“Ready to go downstairs?” He asked, holding a hand out for you. You nodded and took his hand, picking up the bag that matched your outfit. Richard smiled and slid his glasses into the bag when you opened it for him, along with his wallet and phone. You smiled and followed him down the stairs. You felt everyone’s eyes on you and him, your anxiety was skyrocketing.  
“Holy Shit, Rich how have you got someone so freakin’ beautiful” His sister said from across the room. You blushed slightly. Richard smiled and rubbed your hand.  
“I’m a lucky guy, I know” He smiled. You chuckled and rested your head on his shoulder, when you sat down. Richard smiled and held your hand. The taxis soon arrived and you all climbed into them, you were sat in one with Richard and his parents. Richard smiled and rubbed your hand gently, he could tell you were nervous.

\- x -

You sat beside Richard in the restaurant, at the end of the table so no one was beside you. You were aware of the paparazzi that were outside of the restaurant, all trying to snap you with Richard for some reason. Richard wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled.   
“Drinking alcohol or not?” He asked.  
“Probably not...” You trailed off. He didn’t know why you didn’t drink, he just knew it was a choice you made in your youth. You occasionally would have a glass of wine, but it was so rare he’d only seen it twice in the seven years of knowing you. Richard nodded.   
“I’ll just have water” You whispered.   
“Alright” He said. You smiled and rubbed his hand. Richard smiled and kissed your cheek as you opened the menu. He chuckled and grabbed his menu too.   
“Could I have my glasses please?” He asked, struggling to read the menu. You nodded and opened your purse, taking the glasses case out. You smiled.   
“You look sexy with glasses on” You whispered. Richard smiled. You chuckled and smiled, rubbing his thigh. Richard smiled shyly and kissed your cheek.

Towards the end of the night, you could feel your anxiety building up. You didn’t know what was causing it, there was nothing you could think of, but in that moment, your main goal wasn’t identifying what was causing it. Richard seemed to sense something was wrong, but he couldn’t identify it.  
“I need fresh air” You said abruptly, and left the table. Richard quickly ran after you. You could feel his family’s eyes on you as you went to stand outside, sitting on a bench outside of the restaurant. Richard walked over to you barely a moment later.   
“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked, sitting beside you. You shrugged and took a deep breath. Richard rubbed your shoulder gently. He wrapped his jacket around you when he felt you were almost freezing.  
“I think...I think it was just getting too full in there” You whispered. You looked up to see that his family were all staring at you both.   
“It’s alright, just take as long as you need” He whispered. You smiled slightly and nodded, resting your head on his shoulder. Richard brushed his hand through your hair, gently massaging your skull lightly.  
“Remind me again, why didn’t you go into massage therapy?” You asked. Richard chuckled.  
“I’m not that good” He shrugged. You smiled.  
“I disagree” You said, kissing his jaw slightly.   
“Thank you” You whispered, after a few minutes of silence. Richard frowned slightly and looked down to you.   
“What for?” He asked, confused.  
“What happened in there, most people would leave if someone walked out on a family dinner...you haven’t” You whispered. Richard shook his head.  
“Why would I leave you? Talking is the most effective method, aside from therapy and medication, to help you with this stuff” He said, kissing your cheek slightly. You shrugged and held his hand. Richard smiled slightly.   
“My mom is coming out” He said after a few moments. You nodded and rubbed your thumb over his hand.   
“Hey sweetie” You heard a woman’s voice. Richard smiled and shifted closer to you as she sat down.   
“Everything okay?” She asked.  
“Yeah...just a personal issue” Richard said.   
“You can tell her...it’s the other stuff I’m not so comfortable with yet” You said.   
“Sure?” Richard asked. You nodded and looked to his mom, who looked confused.  
“Anxiety” You said to her. She nodded and seemed to understand though. Richard smiled and kissed the top of your head gently.   
“We’re about to order dessert, and the taxis are going to be booked for 11.15, we’ll get you guys an individual one. Do you want a dessert ordering?” His mom asked.   
“I’ll come back inside” You whispered. Richard nodded.  
“Are you sure?” He asked, kissing the top of your head.  
“Yeah, I might need to go to the bathroom first, but I’ll be okay” You promised. Richard smiled.   
“You tell me, alright? If you’re not okay, just tell me” He said. You nodded.  
“Okay, promise” You smiled and rubbed his hand, the ring pressing against his knuckles slightly. Richard smiled and kissed your forehead.  
“Alright” He smiled and stood up, taking your hand. You smiled and stood alongside him, walking into the restaurant a moment later.   
“Thinking about it, going to the bathroom might be a good idea” Richard smiled, following you through to where the bathrooms were. You smiled and pulled him into a ‘family’ stall. He chuckled and smiled, kissing you gently. You smiled and brushed your fingers through his hair.

“Do you actually need a piss?” He asked.  
“Nah, just gonna put some water on my face” You chuckled. Richard smiled and rolled his eyes.  
“Well I do need to piss” He chuckled. You smiled and moved out of the way of the toilet for him, moving to the faucet and the mirror, to wash some water over your face. A moment later, Richard appeared behind you in the mirror. You smiled and watched him. He smiled and reached around you, washing his hands before kissing the back of your neck. You smiled and leant into the touch. He smiled and dried his hands, before pulling you close.  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, brushing a finger through your hair. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yeah, I just needed some fresh air” You smiled. Richard smiled, he knew you weren’t lying. You smiled and held his hand as you walked back out to the table with him. You could see his mom had told everyone not to ask about what had happened, which you were grateful for. You had a drink of your water and watched as a waiter brought the dessert menus over. You smiled and opened yours.   
“What you finding interesting?” Richard asked.  
“Not sure...don’t fancy tiramisu, or ice cream, or the cheesecake” You shrugged. Richard smiled.  
“They have your favourite there – chocolate fudge cake” He smiled. You chuckled.

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I want it” You said. Richard knew it was bullshit, that you would demolish 4 pieces easily if given the opportunity. He frowned slightly, but chose not to press the matter further in that moment. He would ask later, when you’re alone again. You closed the menu again, resting it on the table.   
“Not having a dessert, Y/n?” Richard’s sister asked. You smiled and shook your head.  
“I’m not finding any of them take my interest” You said. Richard rubbed your hand slightly, pressing against the ring slightly. You smiled and kissed his cheek, frowning slightly when you heard a camera shutter behind you.   
“I’m not sure why they’re acting as if it’s not old news” You whispered, Richard chuckled and smiled.

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

A while later, you returned and Richard climbed out of the car with you, holding a hand for you. You smiled and took his hand, walking into the house. You’d gone to the 24/7 store at the top of the street on the way home, so you were later than the rest of his family. Richard walked into the house and smiled as you followed him. He smiled to his family as you guys walked up the stairs to his bedroom. Richard smiled and stripped off, laying in the bed in his boxer shorts. You smiled and chuckled.  
“Can you unzip my dress please?” You chuckled and asked. Richard smiled and stood up, kissing the back of your neck as he pushed the zipper down.   
“Thanks” You smiled and slid the dress off your shoulders, climbing out of the heels. Richard smiled and pushed the fabric down, kissing along your neck and shoulders as he did. You blushed slightly and kicked the door closed. Richard smiled.

“I love you” He whispered, trailing his hand down your back, pushing the dress fully off. You smiled and stepped into some sweatpants, moving to lay on the bed and pull him close. Richard smiled and laid beside you.   
“Did you figure out if the guy messaging you, was your brother?” Richard asked. You frowned.  
“Good question” You chuckled and reached over him to your purse. You pulled out his phone and glasses, before pulling your own phone out. You had a few messages that had come through, mostly from the group chat that Kim and Briana had created with the majority of the cast in. You read the messages before moving onto the other chat.  
“Yep. He’s my brother alright” You said, reading the messages.

Richard smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, falling asleep soon after. You chuckled and took a picture of him, before putting your phone aside and also falling asleep.

You awoke the next morning at 2am, as usual, and you could feel an urge overcoming you. One that you thought you had under control. Richard was fast asleep, dead to the world. You knew that no one else was awake either, only you. You looked down to your body, the belly that was slowly increasing in size again. Richard’s hands were resting on your belly, the pale skin was contrasting with the tanned skin of his hands.

You sighed and rubbed at your eyes, feeling tears build up. You managed to keep the sobs quiet, it just sounded like you were breathing loudly. You felt something change, but you couldn’t identify what. You felt the tears bubble over, leaving trails down your cheeks to where they hit your bra and underwear. That’s when you realised what had changed, Richard was steadily rubbing small circles into your stomach.

You knew he was awake, you just hoped he didn’t question anything. You wiped your eyes, wiping away the tears.   
“Is everything okay?” Richard asked, whispering in the silence of the room. It was pitch black, with the only light coming from the moon, shining through a crack in the curtains. You nodded, shakily. Richard frowned and moved to sit up, wrapping his arms around you. He lifted you into his lap and brushed his thumb over your cheek.   
“Talk to me” He whispered. You looked down to where your almost – naked bodies were pressed together. You rubbed your eyes again. Richard moved to cup your hand.   
“Is it...” He trailed off. You didn’t know what he was going to say, it didn’t seem like he did either. He stood up and turned a lamp on. You frowned and watched him from the bed.   
“What are you doing?” You asked. He held a hand out for you, which you took. He pulled you close and stood in front of a full length mirror.

You looked away from the reflection, looking just above the mirror.  
“I want you to see what I see” He said. You nodded, feeling tears welling up again.   
“Look in the mirror” He said, resting his hands on your waist. You nodded, hesitantly, and looked to the mirror.   
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful” He said. He moved his hand down to your thighs, rubbing his hand over the scars. You blushed slightly.   
“I know you disagree with me, I know it’s not something that I can change over night...but...” He trailed off.   
  
“But...” You said, gesturing for him to continue speaking.  
“Listen to what I say, let the words sink in” He said. You nodded and moved to connect your hand with his.   
“You are beautiful as you are. You don’t need to hurt yourself, not for me, or for anyone else. You are perfect” He said. He moved his hand up to kiss yours, not letting it go. You blushed and looked down.  
“Look at the mirror” He said again. You looked up again, you could see the love in his eyes. It pierced you, hit you in a way you’d never felt before. But surprisingly, you liked it. You felt more comfortable than you had for a long time. Richard held your gaze, he moved his hand up to cup your cheek.

“What do you think is wrong with your body?” He asked, resting his hand on your waist.   
“E-everything” You stuttered.  
“Which is the part you dislike the most” He asked. You shrugged.   
“Belly...I’m fat” You trailed off. Richard shook his head.   
“You’re not fat baby” He whispered and rubbed your belly.   
“You’re not fat, you’re a healthy weight...if you weigh less, it’ll be unhealthy” He said. You nodded. He trailed his hands down your chest, you could just see your rib cage almost standing out in the skin. You looked over your body and frowned slightly. You realised just how skinny you were. Richard brushed his thumb over your hips.  
“Where else?” He asked. You shook your head, as tears spilled over. Richard moved around and hugged you tightly.   
“It’s okay to not be okay...and it’s okay to ask for help” He whispered. You nodded and cried quietly into his shoulder. Richard rubbed your back until you eventually stopped crying.  
“Believe me...You don’t need to change a thing” He whispered. You nodded and held him, and for once, you actually believed that it was true.   
  
Richard kissed the top of your head and moved to sit you both on the bed.   
“Babe...” He trailed off. You looked to him and frowned slightly.   
“Yeah…?” You asked.   
“We should go on a holiday together” He said softly. You frowned again.   
“Should we?” You asked.  
“Yeah, somewhere without massive crowds, somewhere like Palma in Majorca” He said. You shrugged.   
“We could, it just depends when” You said. Richard smiled and kissed your cheek.  
“If you don’t want a beach holiday, could have a cruise” He suggested, and shifted to pick his phone up. You smiled slightly.   
“I think a beach holiday would be nicer, could just lay on a beach with you for a week” You smiled. Richard chuckled.   
“Flights for two from July 14th to July 29th from LAX to Palma, Majorca are just short of $500. Roughly gonna be $1200 including accommodation” He smiled.   
“Want me to pay half?” You offered.  
“Nah, I’ll pay for all this” He smiled. A while later and you were laid down, watching him on his phone, but you didn’t know what he was doing.   
“Alrighty, booked in. Two weeks in July, just us two in Majorca” He smiled, putting his phone aside. You smiled and kissed his cheek, resting your hand on his chest.   
“The hotel I’ve booked has it’s own beach, so we don’t have to worry too much about other people” He whispered. You smiled and kissed him.   
“Gonna wear super tight, short shorts?” You winked. Richard chuckled.   
“If you want me to, I will” He chuckled. You smiled.   
“Well…I need to buy a bikini, I haven’t owned one in 25 years, but I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if it just happened to be a skimpy one” You chuckled. He smiled.  
“I don’t mind, if you don’t...are you going to be okay with these?” He asked, rubbing this thumb over your scars.  
“I will be...people will find out eventually” You shrugged. Richard kissed the top of your head.   
“If you’re sure” He whispered.


	32. Chapter 32

A few weeks later, you and Richard had gone out shopping for the impromptu holiday. You were looking at swimwear, mainly for yourself. You looked over the various different sets before deciding on a simple, purple one. You’d also decided that while you were away, you were going to push yourself further, sexually, with Richard. He didn’t know about it, you’d decided one night when you couldn’t sleep.   
“Not long to go” He smiled, as you paid for the bikini. You smiled and held his hand, putting the bikini into a bag.   
“Wanna go to get some lunch?” He asked.   
“Yeah, might as well” You smiled, checking the time. Richard smiled and took your hand.   
“Want me to carry the bags?” He asked.  
“I don’t mind...” You said. Richard smiled and carried the bags. In addition to the bikini, you’d also gone into Victoria’s Secret and gotten some panties, mainly because you needed some new ones, but with Richard being your first relationship in so long, you decided to make it special. He’d waited outside of the store for you, choosing rather to not go in with you. You understood why though.   
“What do you fancy?” He asked. You shrugged and looked over the list of possible places. Richard smiled and you decided on a small sandwich bar on the top floor of the mall. Richard smiled as you stood in the elevator.   
“Eric has granted us the holiday time” Richard said, looking down to his phone. You smiled and kissed Richard’s cheek. Richard smiled and rested his hand on your waist.

 

\- x -

  
You returned home later that night and flopped onto the sofa. Richard chuckled and placed all of the bags at the bottom of the stairs, before moving to sit beside you. You leant up and kissed him gently. A wave of emotions overcame you, and you seemed to follow your urges because the next minute, you were straddling Richard and he was smirking at you slightly.   
“Hey there” He smiled, leaning up to kiss you. You smirked and kissed him deeply, only parting to remove your t-shirt and his shirt. Richard groaned slightly and rested his hands on your waist.  
“Think we should move this upstairs?” You said, looking to the window, where anyone could look in. Richard grinned and nodded, lifting you up. You wrapped your legs around him and grinned, biting and nipping his neck until you were leaving marks as he carried you up the stairs. You grinned and rolled your hips teasingly. Richard groaned and laid you on the bed. You moaned and pulled him over you, kissing him deeply. Richard smirked.  
“How far?” He asked, not wanting to push you further than you were comfortable with.   
“I think I’m ready to try further...but I’m not sure how much” You said. He nodded.   
“Alright, I got a plan” He smiled.   
“Trust me, and if you want to stop, just say” He said. You nodded and kissed him deeply. Richard smiled and carefully unzipped your jeans. He pulled them away and threw them over his shoulder. You expected to feel the usual feeling, of self – consciousness. Except you didn’t. You were comfortable. Richard sensed this and leant up to kiss you gently, before moving back down. He nipped and nibbled at your thighs, littering them in marks. You moaned lowly and knotted a hand into his hair. Richard smirked.   
“Fuck” You cursed, feeling yourself becoming more wet by the moment. Richard smiled and pulled your underwear away.   
“This alright?” He asked.   
“Fuck yeah” You panted. Richard smiled and leant down. You moaned loudly when he started to eat you out.   
“Fuck” You groaned, scratching at his shoulders. You rolled your hips and tugged on his hair. Richard smiled and trailed his hand up your thigh. You moaned and came with a loud moan a moment later. It’d been so long, it was such an amazing feeling. Richard smiled and sat back.   
“Was that alright?” He asked.  
“Fuck yeah” You chuckled. Richard smiled and moved to sit on the bed, rubbing your thigh. You smiled and regained your breath.   
“Good, I’m glad...” He trailed off. You smiled and pulled him close, kissing him gently. He smiled and shifted until you were side by side, facing each other.

“Want me to…?” You trailed off, gesturing to his tented boxer shorts.   
“Only if you’re comfortable” He said. You nodded and rubbed his side.   
“I’ll try” You said. Richard smiled and nodded. You smiled and pushed his boxers away. You leant down and slowly stroked him to full hardness. Richard moaned and rested his head on your shoulder. You smiled to yourself, he was moaning louder and louder, and all because of you. You sped up your movements slightly, and it seemed to be effective because Richard came with a moan of your name. You smiled slightly and kissed him gently.   
“Was that alright?” He asked, again. You smiled and nodded.  
“Amazing” You smiled. Richard smiled and kissed you, before going to the bathroom and grabbing a cloth. He wiped away the come from your leg, where he’d came, before throwing the cloth in the laundry. You smiled and curled closer to Richard, falling asleep a while later.

 

You awoke at midnight, finding Richard was still awake.  
“Everything okay?” You asked him.   
“Yeah, just not that tired” He smiled, brushing his fingers through your hair. You smiled and brushed your fingers over his chest.

“Can I tell you something...” You trailed off. He nodded.   
“Sure” He smiled.   
“Tonight was my first time doing anything sexual willingly...ever” You admitted. Richard brushed his hand through your hair.   
“Was it okay…?” He asked.   
“Amazing” You smiled. Richard smiled.  
“Good, I’m glad...You can say if it wasn’t, you know” He smiled.  
“Why would I say it was bad, when it wasn’t bad. It was amazing” You smiled. Richard chuckled.  
“Alright then” He smiled. You smiled and rested your hand on his chest, cuddling close to him. He smiled.  
“Fuck...I love you” He whispered. You smiled and rubbed his chest. Richard smiled and looked at the ring on your finger.  
“What kind of wedding do you want?” He asked.   
“I’m not sure...I don’t want a big, puffy white dress and all that...” You shrugged.  
“Well, that’s understandable. What colour scheme do you want?” He asked. You shrugged.  
“I like pale pink, green and grey, easy to find things with that” You smiled. Richard nodded.  
“Pale pink, green and grey it is then” He smiled.   
“Loads of people, or just main people?” He asked.  
“Bit of both. Could have Eric and Robert from the show, with Robbie B, Kim, Osric and Briana, but none of the other cast for the actual ceremony, but everyone could go to the after part. Your family will obviously be there, I’m not sure who I have to invite” You chuckled. Richard smiled and kissed the top of your head. You smiled and rubbed his side.  
“Already got an easy way to keep unwanted visitors out – Clif” He chuckled. You smiled and nodded.  
“On the topic of which, I don’t want my father there. At all” You said. Richard nodded.  
“That’s fine” He smiled. You smiled.   
“Your father can walk you down the aisle instead” You chuckled. Richard rolled his eyes.  
“Or, if you’d prefer, Kim or someone could walk you” Richard suggested. You nodded.  
“We’ll see” You chuckled. Richard smiled and nodded.   
“When do you want it? Summer, spring, Winter or autumn?” He asked, kissing the top of your head.   
“I always wanted a summer wedding when I was younger, but now I think about it, it would be uncomfortable. Spring would be nice, new beginnings and all that bullshit” You smiled. Richard chuckled and smiled, brushing his fingers through your hair as you yawned.   
“Wanna go to sleep?” He asked with a chuckle. You nodded and curled closer, falling asleep soon after.


	33. Chapter 33

The days passed easily, with you and Richard spending most days on the beach. There was one day that you’ll always remember. It was hotter than the rest, most people in your resort had gone to the theme park down the road, so you and him had most of the beach to yourselves. You fell asleep relatively early on, barely waking up. When you did wake up, Richard always had you a drink waiting and something to snack on.

 

After a while of not waking up, he decided to rub some more sun lotion onto your body. You awoke to his hands steadily massaging your shoulders, with the sun lotion being applied.  
“Didn’t want you to burn” He said, when he noticed you’d woken. You smiled and nodded.  
“Thank you” You whispered.  
“Gonna have a drink and a snack?” He asked. You nodded and drank the large beaker of water in an instant.   
“Want some more?” he asked. You nodded sleepily. Richard smiled and handed you a large bottle of water, along with some potato chips. You smiled and drank most of the water, along with eating some of the chips.   
“Better?” He asked. You nodded and smiled.  
“What time is it?” You asked.  
“Uh...4.43” He said.   
“We should get dressed and go somewhere outside of the resort for dinner” You smiled.  
“We can if you want” Richard offered. You smiled and nodded.   
“C’mon, let’s go shower and go out” You smiled. Richard nodded and climbed off of the sun bed. He picked up the towel, before holding a hand out for you. You took it and smiled, standing up. You collected your possessions before walking inside of the hotel and back up to your room.

 

You walked in with Richard and relished in the cool air of the air conditioned room.   
“For the first time in five years, I’m taking a cold shower” He said.   
“Why did you have one five years ago?” You asked, sitting on your bed.   
“Uh...remember the episode when you became a stripper” He said. You nodded.  
“Yep, the stripper killers episode” You chuckled. He nodded.  
“That’s when I last had a cold shower” He admitted. You smiled and kissed him gently.   
“C’mon, let’s go take a cool shower” You smiled and kissed his cheek, before dragging him into the bathroom.   
“I don’t know how you’re comfortable tanning with your ass out” You chuckled, when he pulled his shorts off.  
“I’ve been filmed with it out, nothing major” He shrugged.  
“It’s the front that only you get to see” He winked. You rolled your eyes and kissed him.   
“Should hope so” You said. Richard smiled and kissed you, turning the shower on cold. You smiled and removed your bikini, putting it aside. You climbed into the shower with Richard, and groaned slightly.   
“Fuck that’s nice” You smiled. He chuckled and nodded, reaching for some soap.   
“Might need to rub some aloe vera on your back before we go out” He said.   
“Think I’ve burnt?” You asked. Richard nodded.  
“Bottom of your back, bikini line area” He said. You nodded.   
“Want me to check you?” You offered. He nodded.   
“Sure, go ahead” He said. You nodded and looked him over.   
“All looks good to me” You smiled a few minutes later, after checking over his body. He smiled and kissed your cheek, massaging some soap into your hair. You groaned and held onto him to stop yourself from falling.   
“I know I’m good, I’m not that good” He chuckled.   
“Fuck, you’re amazing” You moaned. Richard chuckled and washed the soap out. You smiled and kissed him.   
“Thank you baby” You whispered, reaching up to wash some soap through his hair. He smiled and kissed you.  
“You’re...welcome?” He asked, slightly confused.   
“For this, for sticking with me...for just being you” You shrugged. Richard kissed your cheek.   
“Don’t worry about it, I’m not leaving, or planning to change any time soon” He promised.  
“Only maybe one thing, but that’s just making you mine forever” He smiled. You smiled and nodded.  
“I wouldn’t be against that” You smiled. Richard nodded and smiled. He stood under the spray for a few moments.  
“I might shave my beard off” He said, brushing his fingers over his chin.   
“How come?” You asked.  
“Just need a change I think” He shrugged.  
“Well, personally, I think you look better without it anyway, but it is your choice ultimately” You said. He nodded.  
“I think I might shave it off...I brought my good razors with me” He said. You smiled and nodded.   
“What are you wearing tonight?” You asked.  
“The beige shorts, likely with a white tshirt and black shoes” He shrugged. You nodded and kissed his cheek gently.   
“Wanna climb out?” You asked. He smiled.  
“If you do” He responded, rubbing his thumb over your waist slightly. You nodded and smiled. Richard smiled and turned the shower off. You smiled and climbed out, wrapping a towel around your waist. Richard smiled and copied you, walking out and sitting on the bed. You smiled and pulled some underwear out of your drawer.  
“Want me to rub some aloe vera on your back?” Richard asked, after you’d pulled the underwear on. You nodded and smiled slightly.   
“Alright, I’ll grab it in a sec” He said and pulled on some boxers. You smiled and laid on your front on the bed. Richard smiled and walked over a minute later. You felt him kneel behind you on the bed, you didn’t expect to feel this...aroused. You knew he was hard, you could almost feel it. You groaned slightly when you felt the cool lotion touch your sore skin. He massaged it into the skin expertly, unaware of the moans you were holding back.   
“Fuck” You muttered, biting your lip slightly.   
“Everything okay?” Richard asked, hearing the comment.   
“Fuck yeah” You panted. Richard chuckled and kissed the back of your neck, chuckling when your hips jerked slightly.   
“Like that?” He asked with a chuckle.   
“Holy shit yeah...Fuck” You panted. Richard smiled and climbed off a moment later.  
“Done” He smiled. You groaned and turned over. You regretted the underwear you’d put on, a plain white pair. They’d almost gone see-through in certain areas, from how wet you were. Richard chuckled and kissed you deeply.   
“Can see you liked that” He smirked. You nodded and pulled him over you, kissing him deeply. Richard chuckled and shifted so he was kneeling on the bed, brushing his hands down your side. You groaned and slid your hands into his boxer shorts, squeezing his ass. Richard panted when he pulled away.  
“How far?” He asked, kicking his boxer shorts away when you pushed them down. You shrugged.   
“The usual? No further than before?” You said. He nodded and kissed you deeply, his hands moving to your waist, sliding your underwear off. Richard groaned and mouthed down your chest, leaving a trail of bites and marks. You groaned and knotted your fingers into his hair as he moved down your body, to your thighs. You groaned and rocked your hips up slightly, almost begging him. Richard looked up and smiled slightly.   
“Tell me, if you want to stop” He said, rubbing your thigh. You nodded and smiled, brushing a hand through his hair. Richard smiled and nipped your thigh lightly before diving down, eating you out. You moaned loudly, your head falling back onto the pillow. Richard smirked, slipping his hand up your chest to tease your nipples. You moaned loudly. You’d been testing your limits more and more, and you could feel yourself becoming more comfortable. You moaned when Richard changed the angle of his tongue slightly, but it was just enough to make you come with a shout. You groaned and panted, your chest heaving.   
“Good?” Richard asked, sitting up. You smiled and nodded, pulling him over you and kissing him deeply.   
“I think...I think I’m ready to go further” You whispered. Richard nodded and moved to sit beside you.   
“Are you sure?” He asked, rubbing his hand down your side. You nodded.  
“Yeah...I know you won’t hurt me” You whispered. Richard smiled and moved to sit you in his lap.   
“When would you want to try?” He asked, kissing you gently.   
“I think tonight” You whispered. Richard nodded.  
“Alright...how much further?” He asked. You knew he only asked these questions so he didn’t hurt you, but it was awkward.  
“Uh...fully” You whispered, looking down. Richard brushed his thumb over your cheek and tilted your head up so your eyes met.   
“Truthfully?” He asked. You nodded, and smiled slightly. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“Alright...we can try tonight...” He promised. You smiled and nodded, connecting your hand with his.   
“But first, I’m hungry” You chuckled. He nodded.  
“Yeah, should have dinner and stuff first” He smiled. You nodded and moved to stand up.   
“Want me to get you off?” You asked. Richard shook his head.   
“It’ s alright, I can wait til later” He smiled. You nodded and smiled, reaching into the drawer. You pulled out the red lacey underwear, putting it on along with the matching bra. Richard smiled and watched you, laying back on the bed.   
“Thought you were gonna shave?” You chuckled. Richard nodded.  
“I might, just wanna watch you for a while” He smiled. You chuckled and watched him reach into the drawer, pulling out some boxer shorts with cartoon watermelons on them. Richard slid them on, before walking to the closet. You watched him pull some shorts on, before moving to the bathroom. You watched him and smiled before pulling on the red dress you’d bought, special for the holiday.

 

A while later, Richard walked back into the main area, still topless but hairless now. You moaned slightly and pulled him close, kissing along his jaw.  
“You’re looking absolutely fucking gorgeous” He whispered. You shrugged and smiled. Richard smiled and moved to spin you slightly. You smiled.  
“I’m so fuckin’ lucky” He whispered. You shrugged and smiled, moving to sit on the bed to watch him locate a shirt. While he was searching, you secretly took a picture of him and smiled to yourself. You watched him as he pulled out a white shirt and slid it on. Richard smiled and turned to face you, after pulling some Vans on. You smiled and slid your jewellery on, only a small watch and a bracelet. You looked down when you felt something on your neck, and found a necklace in place of what was bare skin a few moments prior. Richard pressed a small kiss to the back of your neck. You looked down to it and smiled.   
“Thanks baby” You whispered. Richard smiled and rubbed your hand, moving to pick up his wallet and phone. You smiled and opened your bag for them, watching as he slid them in.   


The night passed better than you could’ve ever imagined. You went to a small restaurant and sat in the corner, until eventually you left, close to 9pm. You walked along the seafront, holding Richard’s hand, until the sun had set and moon was out. Water lapped at your feet slightly and you smirked to Richard, throwing your shoes onto the sand before running into the sea. He copied you and pulled you close, kissing you deeply. You groaned and wrapped your legs around him, scratching down his back slightly. Richard groaned and mouthed along your jaw until he eventually pulled away, brushing his hands through your hair. You moaned lowly and climbed down.   
“Wanna head back?” Richard asked, holding your hand. He seemed to sense your anxiousness, and brought your hand up to kiss it.   
“It’s alright” He promised. You smiled and nodded, moving back to the sand with him. Richard smiled and massaged your hand gently.   
“It’ll be alright, I promise...” He said, holding you. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yeah...c’mon, I wanna stop at the store on the way back though” You said. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“Alright” He smiled, picking up his shoes. You smiled and copied him, walking up to the path again. You slid your shoes back on, and took Richard’s hand, watching as he did the same. You smiled and walked back to the store, picking up two cans of Rockstar for yourself, and some Pepsi for Richard. Richard smiled and watched you pay, holding his hand out to take the bag for you.

 

You smiled and gave him it, taking his hand in yours and walking back to the hotel.   
“Have you got condoms?” You asked him, biting your lip slightly.   
“Yep” Richard smiled.   
“Always do, have one in my wallet and two in my soap bag” He explained. You nodded.  
“Makes sense” You smiled. Richard smiled and walked into the hotel and into the elevator.   
“Are you sure you’re ready?” He asked, resting his hand on your waist.  
“Yeah...I think so...” You said. He nodded.  
“Alright...just remember, it’s all at your pace” He promised. You smiled and nodded, kissing your cheek. You walked into the room with him, and you could feel your anxiousness building.   
“C’mere” Richard said softly, putting the bags down. You moved over to him, looking down slightly. He cupped your cheek and kissed you gently. It seemed to work in reducing your anxiousness, you felt it all melt away. Richard smiled when you pulled away. You leant down and unbuttoned his shirt, gently scratching over his chest. Richard grinned and kissed you gently. You reached back and tried to unzip your dress. Richard’s hands took over and pulled the zipper down, gently pushing the dress off of your shoulders. You moved to step out of it, along with your shoes, and laid on the bed. You pulled Richard over you and kissed him deeply, scratching your nails down his back. He groaned and nipped along your neck, leaving a few marks. You groaned and reached down, unzipping his shorts and pushing them down slightly. Richard groaned and pulled away long enough to strip to his boxers, moving to lay beside you on the bed. You groaned and kissed him again, shifting slightly when you felt him slip one arm between your legs, and wrapping the leg around his waist.   
“Trust me” He whispered, feeling your anxiousness. You nodded.  
“I do” You promised. He smiled and kissed you gently, pushing your underwear away. You smiled and reached up to cup his cheek, kissing him gently. Richard moaned and slid his hand into your underwear.

 

He didn’t finger you, just let you become comfortable with the feeling of his hand in your underwear. You could see he was painfully hard in his boxers, but you let him lead it. You moaned lowly and rolled your hips slightly, writhing on the bed. Richard smiled softly and sat back.  
“Want me to go further?” He asked. You nodded slightly and panted. Richard smiled and pulled your underwear away. He shifted until he was on his knees, resting your legs on his shoulders. He leant down and suckled on your clit, slowly fingering you. He only started with one finger, just teasing. You moaned and rocked down slightly, the dual simulations making you moan louder and louder. He chuckled slightly and added a second finger, waiting for a while.   
“Wh-what are you waiting for?” You panted, gripping the pillow slightly.   
“Just want to make sure you’re okay” He said softly. You smiled slightly and nodded.   
“I’m alright...carry on” You panted. Richard nodded and started to finger you, adding another finger after a few moments. You could feel yourself getting closer.   
“Fuck...” You panted. Richard chuckled and stood up.  
“Ready?” He asked, kicking his boxers away. You panted and nodded, rolling your hips slightly. Richard smiled and reached over to pull the condom from his wallet. He rolled it on, before spreading your legs slightly, rubbing your thigh. You groaned and watched him.   
“Ready?” He asked again. You nodded and reached up to tug him down into a kiss as he pushed in. You moaned lowly, panting slightly. You reached up and scratched your hands down his back. He groaned and rolled his hips, barely moving. You moaned and panted.   
“I’m okay...go on” You groaned, when he hadn’t moved for a while. He nodded and slowly pulled out, pushing back in. You groaned and gripped his shoulder blades, wrapping your legs around him as he moved. He groaned and moved to bite at the junction between your neck and shoulder, rolling into you, faster. He didn’t push you any harder. You smiled and tugged on his hair with one hand, scratching down his back with the other hand. You moaned and came with a shout and a broken moan. Richard groaned and thrust once, twice, thrice more before he came with a gasp. You panted and reached up to kiss him deeply, groaning as he pulled out. You panted and watched him roll the condom off, knotting it before throwing it in the trash. He moved to lay beside you on the bed and smiled, despite panting.   
“Good?” He asked.   
“Amazing” You whispered. Richard smiled and laid on his side, so he was facing you. You smiled and reached up to kiss him, brushing your fingers through his hair.   
“Was it….worth waiting for?” You asked after a few moments.   
“I would wait for a century, if it meant I kept you” He whispered, brushing his thumb over your cheek. You blushed and smiled, moving to cuddle him tightly. Richard smiled and rested his hand on your waist. You eventually fell asleep in Richard’s arms.


	34. Chapter 34

When you awoke, you were still with Richard’s arms around your body. You’d shifted around so he was laid on top of you, you were laid on your front and his chest was pressed against your back. You smiled slightly and relished in the feel of his arms, looking at the ring on your finger.   
“Like it?” Richard asked, his voice making you jump slightly. You smiled.   
“Love it” You whispered. Richard smiled and kissed you.   
“Good...” He smiled. You smiled and cuddled him.   
“What time is it?” You asked, curling close to his chest.  
“Uh...7.34” He said.   
“Wanna grab a shower and go for breakfast?” You asked.   
“Can do” Richard smiled. You nodded and climbed out of the bed. Richard smiled and followed you, turning the shower on. You smiled and climbed into the stall, pulling Richard close. Richard smiled and kissed you gently, his hands cupping your face. You groaned and trailed your hands down his back, resting on his waist. He smiled and eventually pulled away.  
“Want a back rub?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“Can do” You whispered. Richard smiled and shifted until he was behind you. He started with your shoulders, working at the knots until they were all gone. You moaned as his hands moved down your back, massaging all of the knots away.   
“Fuck” You cursed. Richard chuckled and smiled, reaching up to wash some soap over your body. You groaned slightly.   
“You’re too good to me” You whispered. Richard shook his head and kissed your neck.   
“You’re worth it” He said. Richard reached for some shampoo and massaged it into your hair, massaging your skull.   
“If you’re not careful, I think I might orgasm soon” You said, biting your lip slightly. Richard chuckled and kissed your neck, massaging the soap out. You smiled and pulled his head down into a kiss. You smiled and knotted your fingers into his hair slightly.   
  
A few hours later, you and Richard were laid on sun beds. You were on your back, while he was on his front, the opposite to what you’d usually been. You looked over to his sleeping form and blushed when you realised that his back had hundreds of scratches, most of which came from the night before. You traced your hand over some of them, chuckling slightly.   
“Didn’t know I scratched you up that bad” You admitted when you noticed he was awake. He chuckled and smiled.   
“I’m just that good” He winked. You nodded.  
“Yeah...you are” You smiled, sincerely. Richard smiled and rubbed your hand, falling back to sleep. You smiled and held his hand, also falling asleep.

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

When you returned home, a few days later, the first thing you did was collapse onto the sofa and fall asleep. It was 3am, Richard was barely awake. He wrapped his arms around you and carried you up the stairs, leaving the bags by the doors. You curled closer to his chest and smiled slightly, yawning again.   
“Want me to change you into pyjamas?” He asked. You nodded, before falling asleep again. Richard smiled and laid you on the bed, stripping your body and slipping the pyjamas on your body. He laid you under the duvet, before stripping to his boxers and climbing in beside you. You curled around him and fell asleep.

 

You awoke to hear your phone ringing on the table downstairs. Richard groaned and burrowed deeper under the covers, you did too.   
“’M tired” You slurred slightly.  
“Me too” He whispered. You chuckled and curled closer.

 

You were just drifting off to sleep again, half an hour later, when there was a knock at the door.   
“Babe...” Richard trailed off.  
“No” You said.  
“I’m only in boxers” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes.   
“C’mon, it’s like 1 anyway” You shrugged. Richard groaned and rolled out of the bed, barely staying standing. You chuckled and kissed him gently.   
“C’mon, it’ll only be Kim, Bri, Matt or Rob” You said. He nodded and followed you down the stairs, going to lay on the sofa while you answered the door. He watched as you walked in with Kim and Briana, moving to sit on the other sofa. Richard yawned and fell back to sleep. You rolled your eyes and moved to lay his head in your lap, so Kim and Briana could sit together and there was enough room.

 

“So...when’s the wedding?” That was the first thing Richard heard when he woke up. He groaned and curled closer to you. You chuckled and brushed your fingers through his hair.   
“Hey sleepy” You whispered. Richard groaned and leant up to kiss you.   
“I’m gonna go shower” He said. You smiled and nodded.  
“Alright” You said. He smiled and kissed you before walking to the bathroom. You watched him and smiled, blatantly staring at his ass. You looked back to Kim and Briana and chuckled when you realised they knew you were watching Richard.   
“So...” They smirked. You chuckled and smiled.   
“What?” You asked, concerned about their scheming. Kim chuckled and shook your head.   
“How was the holiday?” They asked. You knew that wasn’t what they wanted to ask, but you didn’t press further.  
“Amazing...” You trailed off, looking down to the necklace on your neck. Kim smiled slightly.   
“How come you didn’t tell us?” She asked. You shrugged.   
“I’m not sure...I’ve had a lot on and it’s kinda just been at the back of my mind” You admitted. Kim smiled and nodded. You chuckled and nodded, fiddling with the ring on your finger.  
“We’re having a party on Wednesday night, are you guys gonna come?” You asked. Kim smiled and nodded.  
“Sure, here?” She asked.  
“Yeah, 7ish. Not entirely sure who else is coming yet, Rob and Matt are getting a call today, Rob and Eric are too and a few others” You said, not hinting at the engagement. Kim and Briana smiled.  
“So...have you and him done the do?” She asked. Richard chose the best moment to walk in, saving you from the awkwardness of that question. Richard sat beside you, buttoning his shirt up. You smiled and kissed him gently.   
“I’m gonna go and get dressed” You said. Richard smiled and nodded.   
“Have you asked them about Wednesday?” He asked.  
“Yeah, haven’t said what it’s for though” You said. Richard smiled and nodded, reaching up to kiss your cheek. You smiled softly, before leaving the room and walking up the stairs.

 

When you walked down the stairs, Richard watched you and smiled widely. You smiled and curled up beside him, resting your head on his shoulder.   
“So Rich, we saw the picture of your back all scratched up on the interweb, how is it?” Kim asked, with a smirk. You blushed and hid your head in his shoulder slightly. Richard chuckled   
“That’s the 4th time you’ve asked about us having sex” He said. You chuckled and cuddled close to him. Richard smiled and kissed the top of your head.  
“Alright...I won’t ask again” She chuckled, holding her hands up. You smiled and kissed Richard’s cheek.  
“So other than asking us if we’ve had sex, was there any particular reason you guys came?” You asked, yawning slightly. Kim shrugged.  
“Not really, we’re just out and about and figured we would pop our heads in” They said. You smiled and nodded, shifting around until you and Richard were spooning on the sofa.  
“Well at least we know you actually are dating, rather than just what we read online” Briana chuckled. You nodded and smiled, relaxing against Richard. Richard smiled and cuddled you, kissing the back of your neck. You smiled and connected your hand with his. Kim watched and smiled softly.   
“We might head off” She said softly. You nodded and smiled.

 

Wednesday rolled around too quickly for your liking. You were terrified about telling your friends of your engagement, but you didn’t know why. Richard was currently out at the store, buying beers and champagne, as well as some non-alcoholic mixers. You were at home, cleaning up and preparing some snacks. You’d agreed to just order a few pizzas in, but you still made some snacks. You looked down to your phone and sighed, pushing the cleaning supplies aside. You started to unpack the dishwasher, and frowned slightly when you came across a cooking knife. You knew it was only from the previous night of dinner, but still...it looked so tempting. But you couldn’t...Richard would be so heartbroken. You sent him a message. It was only two words, not even that; a word and a letter: ‘need u’ You threw your phone aside and slid down the side of the counter, feeling your full body shaking. You felt tears wetting your cheeks, you wanted to be stronger. You wanted to be able to overcome things like this...but you couldn’t. You heard a car pull up outside, hoping it was Richard slightly. Sure enough, the door opened.   
“y/n” He called out, walking into the house. You whimpered, almost silently. Yet he heard it. He ran into the living room, frowning when he couldn’t find you. His heart was pounding, he was so fearful of losing you. You sobbed silently, hiding your face from the world.   
“Babe...” You heard Richard’s voice from the door. Soft and calm, it was everything you needed, to calm the storm inside of your mind. But you couldn’t move. Try as you might, you couldn’t will yourself to move. Richard wrapped his arms around you, coaxing you out of the shell you were in. You looked at him, through tear-filled eyes, and felt yourself crumbling away. He lifted you up and carried you through to the living room. He sat down on the sofa and pulled you into his lap.   
“It’s okay...I’m here” He whispered, over and over and over again. You let your walls crumble down, sobbing into his chest. Richard brushed his fingers through your hair, holding you close.  
“I got you” He whispered. You nodded and wiped your eyes.   
“It’s alright” He said softly, kissing your cheek. You took deep shaky breaths until you could form a sentence again.   
“What’s happened?” Richard asked. You looked down.  
“It’s stupid” You whispered.   
“Talk to me” He said. You nodded.   
“I saw a knife...the urge came back...it was so strong…I didn’t know what to do” You whispered.   
“Did you…?” He trailed off, his thumb rubbing your wrist. You shook your head and lifted your sleeves.  
“Stopped myself...wanted to though” You admitted.   
“I’m proud of you” He whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. You frowned.  
“Why…?” You asked.   
“You didn’t hurt yourself. You knew I would be here for you if you called” he said.   
“The first step to recovery is being able to stop yourself when an urge comes” He explained. You brushed your thumb over his cheek.   
“Is it?” You asked, resting your hand on his jawline.   
“Yeah...first is stopping yourself when urges come, second is knowing the supports are there, third is stopping yourself in bad times. The final step is being confident in the scars you have” He said.   
“Or that’s how I overcame it” He added, brushing his fingers through your hair.   
“What do you mean by you overcame it?” You asked, frowning slightly.   
“A few years back...I did it a lot...” He admitted. You moved to wrap your arms around him.  
“How much?” You asked.   
“Enough that I got put on suicide watch at one point...just before I met you” He admitted.   
“What made you stop?” You asked, shifting to sit cross-legged in front of him. He mirrored your position and held your hands in his own.   
“You want the honest answer?” He asked softly. You nodded.  
“I didn’t think you’d even consider dating someone who was so unhappy in themselves that they wanted to die” He admitted.   
“I was the reason you stopped…?” You asked, barely believing it. Richard nodded.   
“Rob barely left me alone...Even pissing, he felt the need to be with me to make sure I was alright” He said. You rubbed his hand and made a note to talk to Rob about it. You shifted so you could cuddle close to him.  
“What time’s everyone coming?” Richard asked, brushing his fingers through your hair.   
“Between 7 and half past...” You said, rubbing your eyes slightly.   
“Why don’t you go take a nap? I can sort out down here” He suggested. You smiled and nodded.  
“If that’s okay” You said.   
“Go on, I don’t mind” He said. You smiled and nodded, kissing him gently before going up to the bedroom. Richard smiled and watched you go before walking into the kitchen. He quickly finished the cleaning. He decided to make tonight more special than originally. He had some pictures of you both together he’d printed off, some you didn’t know about. He had them framed, but never knew when to put them up. He decided to dot them just around, people would see them eventually. He quickly finished and smiled. There’s two hours before people are arriving. Richard locked the house and walked up the stairs and into the bedroom, curling up beside you on the bed. He set his alarm for 6pm and fell asleep with you in his arms.

 

When you awoke, Richard’s alarm was going off. He was wrapped around you, his head resting on your shoulder. You took this moment of solitude to watch him sleeping. He looked so youthful, carefree. You kissed the top of his head, relishing in the feel of him around you. You didn’t often get to see him so carefree and peaceful...between filming and your mental health, you had little time. Sometimes you felt sorry for Richard, that he was on the back-burner, but you realised that ultimately, you were his number one…


	36. Chapter 36

Eventually, Richard woke up to find you staring at him. You blushed slightly, looking away.   
“Sorry” You muttered. Richard leaned up to kiss you, brushing his fingers over your jaw.   
“You don’t need to apologise” He whispered. You smiled and nodded slightly, kissing him.   
“We should shower” You said, looking at the clock. Richard smiled and nodded. You were so glad on the colour scheme you’d decided on for the bedroom of red, pale grey and black, the colours brought out so much about Richard that you found attractive, like his eye colour. You smiled and rested your hand on his waist.   
“C’mon, we should shower” You said again. Richard nodded and rolled out of the bed, yawning. You watched his almost naked body moving and smirked.   
“Look at my smokin’ hot fiancé” You chuckled, climbing off the bed. Richard blushed and smiled, holding his hand out for you. You took it and climbed out of the bed, following him through to the bathroom. He turned the shower on, before removing his boxer shorts and climbing in. Richard climbed out of the shower once he was washed.   
“It’s nearly 7, I’ll get ready and go downstairs” He said. You nodded.  
“Alright, I just need to shave my legs. I shouldn’t be too long” You promised and kissed him gently, watching him leave. He smiled and quickly dried and got dressed in a black shirt and jeans.

  


You walked down the stairs when you’d finished. You knew people were here already, and you’d invited quite a few, but you could hear them all. You looked around and saw Richard talking to Rob. He made eye contact with you over Rob’s shoulder, and his jaw dropped when he saw you, wearing a new dress.  
“Holy fuckin’ shit, I’m so fuckin lucky” He whispered, watching you walk over to him.   
“Fuck” He said. You chuckled.  
“So eloquent” You smiled, wrapping your arm around his waist.   
“I think my brain has just melted...fuck, you’re so hot” He groaned. You blushed and shrugged. Richard kissed your cheek and smiled proudly. Rob chuckled awkwardly.  
“So...you’re a thing?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yeah...” You trailed off. He smiled slightly.   
“Well, congratulations” He smiled, drinking his beer. You chuckled and moved around the party until eventually everyone went home, close to midnight. You collapsed on the bed with Richard, falling asleep in his arms.

  


  



	37. Chapter 37

A few weeks passed for you and Richard quietly. Until the day that you had to go back home for the reunion. You packed your bag into the trunk of his car, along with his. Richard walked out of the house and walked over to you with a smile. You smiled and kissed him gently. Richard smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist. You smiled and leant into the touch, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. A few minutes passed until you pulled away, having to breath again. Richard smiled and kissed the top of your head.   
“We should decorate our bedroom soon” You muttered. You could see into the bedroom from where you were stood on the pavement. Richard chuckled and raised an eyebrow.   
“That’s what you’re thinking about now?” He chuckled. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yeah, we spend so much time in there that it should at least look nice” You chuckled. Richard nodded and smiled.  
“If you want, we can go looking for carpets, wallpapers and everything else once we’re back from the reunion” He said. You smiled and nodded  
“Sounds like a plan” You smiled. Richard smiled and nodded. He picked up the bags and carried them to the car, while you picked up your phone and a few other things, putting them into the front of the car.   
“Have you booked a hotel or just wanna find a motel when it’s getting late?” He asked.   
“I’ve booked somewhere for when we’re actually down there, only for a week, but for the travelling I figured we could just find somewhere en route” You said, putting some stuff into the back seats so you could reach them easier. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“Alright” He smiled, before going to the house. He did a final check of everything before locking the house. You smiled and climbed into the passenger seat, curling into the seat. Richard smiled and climbed into the driver’s seat, putting the house keys into the glove compartment. You smiled and kissed his cheek gently.   
“The person who says they’re my brother wants to meet up...” You trailed off, looking at the message you’d received.   
“Do you want to?” He asked, buckling his seatbelt.   
“I think so” You whispered. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“We can do if you want” He said, rubbing your thigh. You smiled and nodded.   
“I’ll think about it” You said softly and cuddle close.

When you arrived at your home state a few days later, you looked around at the buildings. Some were new, some you recognised from your youth. Richard watched and smiled you looking around.   
“Where are we staying?” Richard asked, wrapping his arm around you. You smiled and shifted so you could lay your head in his lap. You smiled and reached up to kiss his neck.   
“Just over there” You said, gesturing to the hotel across the street. Richard shifted slightly, and at first you thought it was from discomfort. You soon realised it wasn’t though, you could feel something pressing against the back of your head. You smirked and rubbed your hand over his arms, squeezing the muscles slightly. Richard raised an eyebrow and looked down to you.   
“Alright down there?” He asked, brushing his fingers through your hair. You moaned lowly and nodded. Richard smiled and turned into a parking spot of the hotel.   
“Wanna go get us signed in?” He asked. You smiled and nodded, sitting up. Richard smiled and watched you go off to the reception desk. He smiled and adjusted himself in his boxers, waiting for you to return.

You walked over to the car a few moments later. You could see him adjusting himself, he was rock hard from what you could see. You chuckled slightly and opened the car door, climbing into his lap.   
“Well hello there” He chuckled. You smiled and kissed him. Richard moaned slightly and gripped your hips. You moaned and rolled against him slightly, panting as you pulled away.   
“Room 218” You smirked. Richard chuckled.

“Want me to carry the cases in?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yeah, you can carry two duffels right? I’m thinking of going to lay out” You winked. Richard chuckled.   
“Alright then, can I have a key card?” he asked. You nodded and pulled one of the keys out of your pocket.  
“See you up there” You said, voice dipping to sultry. Richard grinned and kissed you before watching you walk into the hotel. He climbed out of the car and grabbed the two duffels, along with the backpack of everything else. He carried it inside and up the stairs to the second floor.


	38. Chapter 38

You looked up when the door opened and Richard walked in. You were laid on the bed, in a matching set of a purple lacey bra and underwear. Your clothes were in a heap on the floor. Richard smirked at the sight.   
“Well hello there” He smiled, dropping the bags and kicking the door closed. You looked over to him and smirked, biting your lip slightly. He smiled and walked over to you, kissing you deeply. You groaned and tugged him on top of you. Richard moaned and trailed his hands down your body, barely scratching, but it was enough. You groaned and gripped his hips.   
“I’m so fuckin’ hard” He whimpered. You nodded and kissed him, flipping you over so he was laid on the bed. He groaned and watched as you slid down the bed to his waist. You carefully unzipped his jeans and tugged them down to his knees.   
“Are you sure this is okay?” He asked. You nodded.  
“Yeah...I think so” You whispered. He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek.  
“You don’t have to if you can’t” He whispered. You nodded and leant up to kiss him, reaching down to push his boxers aside. Richard groaned and rocked his hips slightly, an involuntary reaction. You chuckled and took him into your mouth, bobbing your head.   
“Fuck” He cursed, his head falling back onto the pillow. His fists were balled into the bed sheets, white knuckled. You smirked and took him deeper, overcoming your fears some more. You swirled your tongue around the head, before bobbing again. He moaned and came with a shout, his chest heaving and head thrown back. You chuckled and sat back.   
“Good?” You asked, moving to sit lay beside him.  
“I think I’ve just had my brain sucked out of my dick” He panted. You chuckled and curled around him.   
“Want me to…?” He trailed off.  
“If you want” You said softly. Richard smirked and shifted so you were the one laid and he was at the edge of the bed. He smirked and suckled at your clit through your panties. It was something you didn’t expect to find as hot as you did. He chuckled and pushed your panties aside, slowly fingering you. You groaned and gripped his hair slightly, rocking against him. You felt yourself getting closer and closer until you came with a loud moan. Richard smiled and sat on the bed.   
“Was that alright?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“You know, you don’t have to ask that every time...” You said softly, pulling him close to spoon with him.

“I know, I like making sure that you are okay...I don’t want to hurt you” He said softly. You cuddled close to him and smiled. Richard smiled and rested his hand on your waist.   
“What time is it?” You asked.   
“Uh...4 something” Richard groaned. You chuckled.   
“Whatcha wanna do? Go get some dinner?” You asked. He shrugged.   
“Can do” He smiled. You nodded.   
“Or we could order take out and chill here?” You suggested, trailing your hand down his chest. Richard smiled and kissed you.   
“I don’t mind” He said. You smiled and kissed him.   
“How about, we grab a shower, order the food and just chill out for the night” You suggested, resting on your side. Richard nodded, smiling slightly.   
“Sounds good” He smiled. You nodded.  
“I also believe there is a bathtub in there” You smiled and kissed him gently. Richard smiled and shifted until he wrapped your leg around him. You groaned and rolled your hips against him. He chuckled and kissed your neck. You shifted and stood up, pulling him close. Richard smiled and leant down to kiss you gently. You smirked and followed him through to the bathroom, starting to fill the tub. Richard smiled and kissed the top of your head, climbing into the tub with you.

 

The next day, you were walking into the city centre to meet the person who believed they were your brother. You had Richard’s jacket wrapped around you, his hand in your own and you knew paparazzi were following you. You turned a corner and went to sit at a table at the cafe you’d agreed to meet at. Richard smiled and sat beside you, holding your hand.   
“What time is the reunion?” He asked.   
“It is 3 days and 7 hours away” You smiled.  
“Friday at 7 then” He chuckled. You nodded and smiled.   
“Sorted. What do you want to eat?” He asked, picking up a menu. You shrugged.  
“I’m not sure” You chuckled, looking over it with him.   
“Y/n?” You heard a voice from behind you.

 

A few hours had passed, you knew this man was your brother. Richard smiled to himself slightly, happy that you at least had one family member who treated you right. You leant up and kissed Richard’s cheek, holding his hand tighter.   
“We should be going” You said suddenly, looking just beyond your brother. You’d seen your father in the distance, someone you didn’t want to see.   
“Do we?” Richard asked, slightly confused.   
“There’s someone over there that I don’t want to see” You said softly. He heard you say it though.   
“It’ll be alright” He promised, holding your hand. You nodded and shifted to curl closer to him. Richard smiled and rubbed his hand down your back. You smiled and leant into the touch as the man came over. You shifted so he couldn’t see your face. He started talking to your brother.  
“Who’s this?” He asked. Your brother looked over to you.   
“Just...Just a friend” He said. You flinched at your father’s voice.   
“Bullshit”   
Richard held you closer, rubbing your shoulders – protecting you. You leant into the touch and kissed his neck gently, as your father eventually left. You chuckled slightly and finished your coffee.

 

Three days later, you were laid in bed with Richard’s arms around you, it was barely even 12pm.   
“Tonight...” You started. He looked down to you, brushing his thumb over your cheek.   
“You’re going to hear a lot about me...most of it you won’t like to hear, but as long as you know, a lot of it will be bullshit” You whispered. Richard kissed you gently.   
“I probably won’t listen to it...I won’t leave your side” He promised. You smiled and nodded.   
“We should shower” You said, looking to the clock. You had 3 hours until you had to be at your school. Richard nodded.  
“Shower, massage and then dress?” He suggested.   
“That sounds amazing...love your hands” You said, smirking slightly. Richard chuckled and kissed you gently, cupping your cheek. You moaned slightly, shifting to straddle him. Richard smirked up to you and rested his hands on your thighs, rubbing slightly.   
“You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous” He breathed. You blushed and leant down to kiss him again, not wanting to hear him say it. He pulled away, much to your dismay.   
“I know you don’t believe me, I wish I could show you in a way that adequately fit what I feel, but I don’t think there is a word in any of the languages that fits...perfect is the next best thing” He said softly. You blushed and smiled slightly, resting your hand on his chest. Richard smiled and kissed your fingertips, smiling widely. You couldn’t help but smile back to him, leaning down to kiss him again.   
“C’mon, I smell and need to shave” You chuckled. Richard rolled his eyes and rubbed your thighs.   
“Climb off then” He chuckled. You smiled and slid off his lap, standing up and holding a hand out for him. Richard smiled and climbed off of the bed, taking your hand in his own. He followed you through to the bathroom, watching as you turned the shower on. You smiled and stripped, before climbing in. Richard smiled and climbed in beside you.


	39. Chapter 39

Music thudded in your ears. The night had gone okay so far, you’d seen a few people you didn’t want to, but no one had said anything to you. Richard, true to his word, had stayed by your side for the entire night. Even when you went to the bathroom, he waited in the corridor outside of the girls toilets. You saw his reaction, every time he saw you.   
“Your jaw looks like it’s on a switch” You chuckled  
“What?” He asked, confused.   
“Every time you see me, it’s down” You chuckled.   
“You’re just that stunning” He said, following you round the corridors of the school. You eventually went back to the main hall and sat on a table, a few of the girls who used to bully you came over, some trying to flirt with Richard, but you knew he wasn’t interested, instead he just kissed your head and flipped them off.

 

A few weeks passed again, no major issues occurred. Until one night. Something happened that almost entirely ruined your life. You’d gone out to the store, it was close to midnight and Rich had gotten ill recently, you’d taken it upon yourself to care for him. You were walking back, some pain killers, sports drink and medicine in the bag for him. You walked down the street, a strange feeling of discomfort that you didn’t usually have. You pulled your phone out and called Richard. He’d told you to do that, no matter of the time of day, if you felt anything untoward.   
“Hey babe” He groaned, sniffling slightly. You smiled.   
“Hey...I uh...I don’t feel right” You said softly, standing under a street lamp.  
“Want me to come out and meet you?” He offered, but you could already hear him moving.   
“Uh...sure...actually no, I’ll be alright...” You said.   
“Alright” Richard said, but he was already dressed and moving to meet you.   
“I got your medicine and sports drink” You smiled.   
“Thank you baby” He said, silently leaving the house.   
“I’m gonna come back now, I won’t be long” You said, looking out to the darkness of the road.   
“Alright, see you soon...and babe?” He said, walking down the street.   
“Yeah?” You asked.   
“I love you” He said softly. You could hear the love in his voice.   
“I love you too” You responded, your heart swelling. Richard smiled to himself as he walked down the street, towards the store you had gone to.   
“I’ll see you soon” He whispered. You nodded, though he couldn’t see it.   
“Yeah, see you soon” You said before ending the call. You’d barely moved 10 metres when you felt something, or someone, grab you and drag you down a darkened alleyway. You screamed loudly, in the hopes of attracting attention from someone, anyone, who would help.

 

Richard’s heart jumped to his throat when he heard you scream. He was close to the store, thankfully, but he had no clue where you were. He ran up to the street lamp and saw something down an alleyway. He silently walked down, and rage filled his veins when he saw someone rip your jeans away.

 

You sobbed as the stranger shoved his hand down your jeans and ripped them away. Your underwear soon followed. You closed your eyes, hoping it was all just a bad dream and that someone wasn’t about to force their dick inside of you. You heard a thunk and looked up, seeing Richard in front of you, and the guy on the floor, a plank of wood dropped to the floor from Richard’s hand. He pulled you close and hugged you.   
“You’re safe” He promised, helping you redress. You nodded and wrapped your arms around him, sobbing into his chest. Richard held you close and pulled out his phone, dialling 911. You frowned when he tensed in your arms, you could feel something dripping onto your hand from where it was resting on his waistband. You heard a groan and looked up to Richard. His face was pale, and as you moved back, he collapsed to the floor.   
“Hi, 911, what’s your emergency?” You heard from his phone, which lay on the floor somewhere near his shoulder.   
“I’ve just been raped and my partner stabbed, come quick” You begged.   
“Can I ask your location please Miss” The woman said.   
“The 24/7 mart on Main” You said, tears falling. Your voice was hitching and you could feel sobs coming.   
“Alright, police and ambulance are on their way. Can you stem the bleeding? Have you got a piece of cloth that you can press against the wound?” The woman asked. You took a deep breath, you needed to do this, for Richard if not for yourself. You removed your jacket and pressed it against the wound, leaving the knife in like you’d been taught to do when you did a first aid class.   
“Done that” You said. You looked over when his hand twitched slightly. You held it in your own.   
“Fuck babe...” You whispered, brushing the hair from his eyes. He groaned and squeezed your hand slightly. You could hear the sirens in the distance, a slight relief. You watched as the police came over, parking up, followed by the first responder. The paramedic came over and took over from you in checking over Richard. The first police car took the guy away, and you finally relaxed, but only slightly. The second police car parked up, and the officers climbed out, walking over to you. They introduced themselves, before asking you some questions, but your focus wasn’t them, it was your fiancé, who lay lifeless on the floor. The ambulance arrived and two more paramedics climbed out with a stretcher. They walked over and guided Richard’s body onto the stretcher, before running him back to the ambulance. You broke down in sobs, collapsing against the wall.

 


	40. Chapter 40

When you arrived at the hospital, you were checked over for any issues. You knew it was a standard procedure, but you also knew there would be nothing there. After they had finished, and the police had gotten their information. Instead of waiting by Richard’s side, you went home, to a cold and empty house. You locked everything up, storming into the kitchen. You searched through all of the drawers until you found a knife. It was a professional chef’s knife, one Richard used to carve meat. In this moment, it wasn’t meat that was going to be carved. You slid down the side of the cabinets, your arm becoming red and the blood dripping onto the floor. But you didn’t care...you couldn’t feel a damn thing and that’s all you need. You eventually passed out in a puddle of blood, your arms covered in cuts.

 

You awoke in the hospital, with Kim by your side. You groaned, not wanting to talk to anyone. You didn’t even want Richard, you just wanted to be alone.   
“Babe...what happened?” Kim asked. The name ‘babe’ was nothing new from her, she always called her friends babe. You just wished she would leave. You shook your head.  
“I just wanna be alone” You sighed.  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea” She responded. You looked down to your body and realised how bad you’d done it...both arms covered in bandages.   
“Please...just leave me be...” You whispered, tears threatening to spill.  
“Promise me you won’t hurt yourself further” She begged. You nodded.   
“I promise” You said. She smiled and kissed your forehead.  
“Shoot me a text if you need me, or just wanna talk” She said. You nodded.   
“Oh...Rich told me to give you this” She said, wrapping his jacket around you. You smiled slightly and curled into it. Kim smiled before leaving the room. You felt your heart become less tense...at least he’s alive.

  
The next few days passed very differently for you and Richard. You were placed on a suicide watch for the week, while Richard was in physiotherapy. You hadn’t seen him since the incident, and as much as you loved him, you just needed to be alone.

 

You both returned home on the same day. Richard knew you wouldn’t be comfortable with any intimacy, but he didn’t expect you to be so...cold to him. He collapsed onto the sofa, his walking sticks going onto the floor. You busied yourself, not wanting to think about anything. If you thought, the memories came back.   
“Babe, c’mere” He said softly, making room for you on the sofa.   
“No” You said. He frowned.  
“What’s wrong?” He asked. You shook your head and continued doing, well nothing.   
  
As the days passed, and you and him became separate again, you’d taken your ring off. It killed you to see it on your hand when you were so unhappy in life. The day Richard noticed was the day you killed him. With the relationship going the way it was, he’d taken to sleeping on the sofa. You’d offered the bed, but he shook his head and told you to have it, and that it was easier for him to stay downstairs. He was nibbling on some toast, the same piece he’d had two hours prior too. He looked over to you and noticed the ring was gone, his heart sank.   
“I think I’m gonna go home” He whispered. You looked down as tears fell.   
“Sorry” You whispered, it was barely a whisper. He didn’t hear it, but he hobbled past you, using the walking sticks as he did. He left the house barely a moment later. You felt hot sobs coming and slid down the counter side again, sobbing into your knees.   
  
You flinched when your phone rang on the table beside you. It was Rob.   
“Hello” You said, your voice was hoarse and croaky. A few hours had passed since Richard had left your house, you hadn’t heard from anyone.   
“What the fuck is going on between you and Richard?” He asked.   
“I don’t even know...why?” You asked, suddenly worried.  
“Fuckin’ hell” He said, before ending the call. Your heart was in your throat as you shakily stood up and grabbed your car keys. You drove off to Richard’s apartment block and the sight that met you broke your heart. There was ambulance outside, and Rob was sat on the steps, crying and shaking.   
“What happened?” You asked. Rob didn’t say anything to you, so you instead ran into the apartment. You shoved the paramedics aside and knelt beside the lifeless body on the bed, hugging him tightly.   
“Fuck” You shouted, feeling for a pulse. You could feel a faint one, you knew you’d have to let the paramedics take him, fast, if you wanted him to live, which you did. You moved aside and left the building, sitting beside Rob on the stairs. You rested your head on his shoulder as the tears trailed.   
“What happened?” You asked again.   
“I don’t know...he wasn’t answering his phone and I heard something had happened, from Kim, and when he didn’t answer the door, I kicked it down and found him, well you saw” He said.  
“What’s going on?” He asked. You sighed.  
“I was almost raped the night he got stabbed, I could feel us drifting apart...I didn’t expect him to do this” You whispered.   
“Well...you’re the only reason he’s alive to this day” Rob said. You nodded and slid the engagement ring out of your pocket.   
“Give him this...I’m not worth it” You whispered, before walking away. You still loved him, you wanted to marry him, but you couldn’t keep hurting him like this. It took you 6 months to become comfortable with sex after nearly 15 years, how long would it take you now?   
“You know if you do this, you risk never seeing him again” Rob said.   
“I know...he deserves better than me” You admitted.   
“He doesn’t want better, he wants you” Rob said. You shook your head and climbed back into your car, driving away.   
  
A few days passed before you got a text from Richard.  
“I’ll grab my stuff today.” Your heart sank as you read it. There was none of his usual cute nicknames, or any kisses. Short and snappy. You knew you’d fucked it up big time.   
“Alright x” You sent back, in the hopes it would do anything in persuading him to give you a chance. You looked to the photo of you and Rich on the table, from on the holiday. You pulled it close and hugged it tightly, sobbing until you eventually passed out, but your grip didn’t loosen.

 


	41. Chapter 41

Richard walked into the house, he’d managed to maintain his composure thus far and not call you, begging for another chance. He walked into the living room, expecting to see you...well, he didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this. You were cuddling a picture frame, he didn’t know which picture was in it. He wrapped his jacket around you, much like he had the day you’d started the relationship. He kissed your forehead before walking up the stairs and packing his bag with most of his clothes, he couldn’t fit them all in though. He decided to write you a note, even just to say goodbye.   
  
_“Y/N_

_I love you. I always have, since the day I met you. I don’t know what happened after the incident...I just know you don’t want me any more...I’m leaving and going back to Nashville...there’s nothing out here for me any more. If you want to talk, about anything, just ring me. I’ll answer in a heartbeat, for you. I’m sorry about everything. Keep my coat, burn it or whatever else for all I care...I just want you to know I love you, and I always will._

_\- Rich”_ You read the letter. Hours had passed since you fell asleep. The paper had tear stains on it, and they weren’t from you. You decided that you were going to be the one to talk to him. But first, you needed a plan. You spent the next few days, coming up with a plan.

Richard lay on his bed, face down. His sister was sat in the room, ensuring he wasn’t going to hurt himself.   
“Ricky...you have a huge scar on your back” He said.   
“Whoopdie doo...I’m covered in them” He sighed bitterly, looking over when his phone rang.   
“Hi, Richard Speight Jr’s phone” His sister said, you frowned slightly.  
“Hi, it’s (y/n), could I talk to Rich please” You asked. You were sat in your car, outside of your house, unsure of whether or not to leave. Richard looked to his sister.  
“It’s (y/n)” She said. Richard held his hand out for the phone.   
“Hello?” He said. The sound of his voice filled your ears, euphoria filling your mind.   
“Hey...I’m coming to see you” You said.  
“What? Why?” He asked.  
“I want to see you” You said. You’d be staying for a while anyway, with the Nashville convention being around this time, but you hoped to god that Richard would at least give you the time of day.   
“Alright” He sighed.  
“I uh...I love you” You said softly. You were testing, how far would he respond. He grunted and ended the call, throwing his phone across the room. It lay in pieces on the floor, when his father walked into take over from his sister, both of whom were watching Richard to ensure he didn’t hurt himself.

You drove non-stop to Nashville, a 10 hour journey on little sleep. You pulled up outside the house, it was close to midnight, and every room except one was in darkness, Richard’s room was the only that wasn’t. You climbed out of your car and walked up to the door, knocking, despite your hands shaking. The door opened to reveal a tired looking Richard’s father.  
“What are you doing here?” He hissed. You knew he was angry, he had every right to be.   
“I want to talk to Rich” You said, managing to maintain your composure.   
“I don’t think he wants to speak to you” The man said. You heard a creak from behind him.   
“Leave it dad...I’ll sort it out” Richard’s voice hit your ears, and you smiled slightly. His father frowned.  
“Rich” He said, warningly.   
“Dad, I’m an adult. Let me at least do this, I know you think I’m gonna top myself the second I’m alone, but in this instance, please just give me five minutes” He said angrily. His father sighed.  
“Fine, five minutes. But I want you to talk in the kitchen” He said. Richard nodded.  
“Fine” He said, walking down the stairs, while his father moved aside for you to walk in. Richard looked you over slightly. You were wearing a pair of his sweatpants, one of his jumpers and his coat.

 

You followed him into the kitchen and sat opposite him.   
“I’m sorry” You said softly. He looked down. You could see he was struggling to control his emotions.   
“I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry I’m not what you need” You whispered.   
“You are what I need though” He said, almost silently. You looked up, slightly shocked. You hadn’t expected him to say that. He shrugged and looked down again.   
“Sorry...you don’t want me” He whispered.   
“That’s where you’re wrong” You said.   
“You’re all I want. I’ve found something in you I’ve never had in my life” You whispered.  
“Safety” You explained, when he looked at you with confusion.   
“You’ve helped me through so much, we came so far together. I don’t want to throw it all away cos of a piece of shit who’s rotting in jail for rape and attempted murder” You said. Richard shrugged.   
“Please...” You whispered.   
“I’ll think about it” He said. You nodded.  
“Promise?” You asked. He held his pinky up, something you did when you were dating. You knew it was something small, but it filled you with hope that there may still be some small chance of you being together.   
“Are you going on Thursday?” He asked.   
“To the con? Yeah, Kim’s picking me up at 9 and taking me for breakfast beforehand. Are you?” You asked, moving to hold his hand slightly. You could see just how bad it must’ve been for him, his arms looked worse than yours did, covered in scars from the past 20 years, and his had only happened over the past week, in the space of a couple of hours.   
“Yeah...Matt’s picking me up cos Rob’s going with the band” Richard said. You nodded and smiled slightly. Richard rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand.  
“What happened, y/n? We had everything, it was us against the world….look at us now” He said softly. You nodded.  
“I got scared...I don’t want you waiting for something that might never come” You whispered. He nodded.  
“I want you. Sex or no sex...just you” He whispered. You nodded. His father chose that moment to walk in.

“Five minutes are up” He said. You stood up, Richard still holding your hand. He also stood up, kissing the top of your head.   
“I’ll see you on thursday” He said. You nodded and noticed his walking sticks by the door.   
“How’s the physio going?” You asked.  
“I’d have died if you didn’t do what the phone operator said, apparently, gonna need them for a while sadly” He said. You nodded and handed him his walking sticks when you saw him become unsteady. He smiled slightly and kissed your head again.   
“I’ll see you on Thursday” You said and smiled slightly. Richard smiled slightly and followed you to the door, leaning on his walking sticks. You smiled and leant up to whisper in his ear.   
“I’ll text you...don’t think your dad likes me” You whispered. Richard nodded.  
“I’ll talk to him, just shoot me a text whenever” He smiled. You nodded and smiled before leaving the house. Richard watched you leave with a small smile.   
“I don’t want you speaking to her anymore, she’s brought nothing but trouble” His father said from behind him.   
“Know what? Fuck you dad. I’m an adult, nearly 40 and you’re still trying to dictate my life. I’m doing what the fuck I want. And I want her” Richard said, walking up to his bedroom. He locked the door behind him and laid on the bed, pulling his phone out.

He noticed he had one new notification. It was a text.   
“ **Hey** ” He smiled as he read it.   
“ _Hey, hows it goin_ ” He sent back, shifting to lay on his side.   
“ **Alright. Better now I’ve spoken to you, just wish I had the guts to do it sooner** ” You sent. You walked into your motel and laid on the bed.   
“ _U know I wont hurt u...dont be scared 2 talk to me_ ” He sent. You smiled.   
“ **I know...I just fucked up real bad and idk how I can make it up to you** ” You sent back. Richard was forming a plan in his head already, he was going to win you back.   
“ _Make sure ur there on thurs. I got something planned and ull like it_ ” He sent. You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to correct his grammar. Instead you sent a question you’d been meaning to ask since you left the house.   
“ **Do your family know about what happened the night you got stabbed?** ” You sent. It took a while for him to reply.   
“ _Chose not to tell them everything...said I got stabbed protecting you, but didn’t say what. Figured that if anyone was to say anything, should be you_ ” He sent. You noticed the proper grammar, he rarely used it. Only when the topic of conversation was a serious one. You smiled slightly.   
“ **Alright...thank you. I need to get some sleep, not had any in nearly 30 hours...** ” You sent.   
“Sleep well dear, don’t dream about me too much ;) x” He sent. You smiled and soon fell asleep. There was one more day between now and the convention, and you were weirdly excited.

 


	42. Chapter 42

The next morning, you awoke at 9. You didn’t have any texts, but you decided to send one to Richard.   
“ **Morning cutie** ” You sent. He didn’t reply for several hours. It was close to 3pm when he replied.  
“ _Hey, sorry got no sleep last night so sleeping all day_ ” he sent.   
“ **No worries. Sleep well aside from last night?** ” You sent.   
“ _Dreamt of you...my heart hurts_ ” He sent. You smiled sadly. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t dreamt of him.   
“ _What r u doing 2day?_ ” You were pulled out of your reverie when your phone buzzed again.  
“ **Gonna go grab a burger, come back to this shitty motel and do jack shit** ” You sent, pulling a jumper on.   
“ _Wanna meet up?_ ” Richard sent, almost instantly.   
“ **You want to?** ” You sent back.   
“ _Ye. We should talk where my family aren’t around_ ” He sent.   
“ **Alright. McDonald’s off fifth at 4?** ” You sent.  
“ _See u there xx_ ” Richard sent. You smiled and looked at the time, it’d take you longer to get there, so you set off a little earlier than planned. You shoved your earphones in and listened to some music by your favourite band, Simple Plan, as you walked down the road. You arrived at the McDonalds at 3.55pm.

You sat on a bench outside and waited. These 5 minutes seemed to take an hour to pass. You looked up when you saw Richard walking towards you. He was wearing a long sleeved leather jacket, black jeans and some boots. 

“Fuck” You whispered. He looked so hot. You stood up and smiled. You had the same butterflies in your chest that you did when you walked onto the set, almost 8 years ago.   
“Hey” He smiled. You smiled.  
“Hiya” You said. He looked down when his phone rang. You could see it was Rob.  
“Go ahead” You smiled, sitting back down. Richard smiled and sat beside you.  
“Hey Robbie” he smiled.   
“Rich, what’s this I hear about you going out?” Rob said   
“Yep. I got my shit out of bed, showered and went out. Got a problem?” Richard said.   
“No, I’m proud of you. What you doing?” Rob asked.  
“Oh just meeting…someone” Richard said. You frowned slightly, but you knew that Rob wouldn’t likely approve of him meeting you. It’d take them time to event think of forgiving you. Richard wrapped his arm around your shoulder, kissing the top of your head.  
“Rob...I’d love to stay and chat, I really would. But I’m a bit busy. I’ll ring you later” Richard said. You smiled slightly and pulled your phone out, feeling it buzzing. It was Kim ringing you. You declined the call, sending her a ‘I’m busy’ message.  
“We should go somewhere quiet...away from everyone else. C’mon, I have an idea” He said. You smiled and followed him, desperately wanting to hold his hand, but you couldn’t while he was using walking sticks.

Richard turned down a few side streets before coming to a small cafe.   
“An old friend owns this place” He smiled. You nodded and smiled, following him in.   
“Hey Rich! Long time no see” A male said from behind the counter.  
“Long time? Nearly 20 years” Richard chuckled. You smiled and moved to sit at a table, watching Richard sit opposite you. You smiled slightly, looking down.   
“What do you wanna talk about?” You asked.  
“I think you know” Richard said. You nodded, you did know. He wanted to talk about everything that had happened.  
“You wanna go upstairs? There’s a more private area if you want to” The guy suggested. Richard nodded.  
“If you don’t mind, thanks J” He smiled. You watched and smiled, standing up. You followed Richard and the stranger through a private door and up some stairs. Richard stood behind you and smirked.   
“Rich, coffee machine is in the corner, fridge has coke and stuff. Take what you want” The guy said. Richard smiled and nodded.   
“Thanks pal” He said. You smiled and moved to sit on a sofa, watching the stranger leave. Richard smiled and sat beside you, dropping his crutches to the floor.   
“What happened?” He asked, softly. You looked down.   
“You want the whole story?” You asked, seemingly confused. He nodded.   
“Well...after the rape, I went home and all I could think about was your body...if it wasn’t that, it was the guy about to hurt me...I just wanted it all to stop...I became distant because I couldn’t cope with my depression...I didn’t want to burden you” You whispered. Richard shifted to face you.   
“It hurt me...I didn’t want to hurt you but I was too ashamed to admit it” You whispered. He cupped your cheek.  
“I just...I want to go back to what we were, like when we were on holiday...back to normal” You whispered. Richard nodded and kissed you gently. You melted into the kiss, falling against his chest. You reached up and held onto his shoulders slightly. Richard groaned slightly and rubbed your hand.   
“If we do restart...I want you to know...I don’t want you to feel that you need to do anything” He said. You nodded and smiled, curling close to him.


	43. Chapter 43

The next day, you walked into the convention centre with Kim and Briana following. You could see Richard across the room, you wanted to go over to him, but you didn’t. You sat on the sofa in the green room, pulling your phone out. You started playing a game until you all went out onto the stage. You noticed that there wasn’t enough chairs for everyone, and there was you and Richard left standing. You moved to sit on the edge of the stage, expecting Richard to sit on the chair. Instead, he moved to sit beside you. He rested his head on your shoulder, putting his sticks behind you. You smiled and looked down when he held your hand.   


As the day progressed, you watched the cast all answering questions. Eventually the band moved to start playing. Richard hobbled over and sat on the chair. You smiled and shifted to watch him.   
“Alright, this song is for someone in this room, coming from someone in this room” Rob said. You smiled to Rich, who was sat with a guitar on his knee.   
“You look so beautiful today

When you’re sitting there, it’s hard for me to look away

So I try to find the words that I could say  
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away  
And I cant lie  
Every time I leave my heart turns gray  
And I want to come back home to see your face tonight  
'Cause I just cant take it” Rob sung. You felt your heart leap. It was one of your favourite songs, I Can Wait Forever by Simple Plan.   
  
“Another day without you with me  
Is like a blade that cuts right through me  
But I can wait  
I can wait forever  
When you call my heart stops beating  
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding  
But I can wait  
I can wait forever

  
You look so beautiful today  
It's like every time I turn around I see your face  
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you  
When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay  
And I cant lie  
Every time I leave my heart turns gray  
And I want to come back home to see your face  
'Cause I just cant take it

Another day without you with me  
Is like a blade that cuts right through me  
But I can wait  
I can wait forever  
When you call my heart stops beating  
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding  
But I can wait  
I can wait forever” Rob sang. You’d shifted to standing, and you noticed Richard moved when the guitar solo started. Using his crutches, he hopped over to you. He went down onto one knee in front of you, groaning in pain slightly. You felt tears filling your eyes.  
“Y/N...Wanna give it another go?” He asked, pulling out a box. Inside was the ring, the one you missed wearing, as well as a new ring that matched. You nodded, wiping the tears away. Richard smiled and stood up on shaky legs, hugging you tightly. You heard the cheers from the fans, Rob’s voice singing the remainder of the song. But none of it mattered to you, in the moment. All you cared about was the feel of Richard’s arms around you. You cried into his shoulder, feeling him shift onto his walking sticks slightly. You leant up and kissed him deeply. Richard smiled widely when you pulled away.

A few weeks passed since you and Rich restarted the relationship and everything was back to normal. The biggest difference was that you’d been helping him more and more with the muscle building. You knew he’d need walking sticks for the rest of his life, having a knife into the spine was almost definitely going to fuck it up. He was lucky with the injuries he did have. You walked onto set one day, walking into your trailer. Richard smiled and walked in a few minutes later, sitting beside you on the sofa.   
“Back to filming” You sighed. He chuckled and nodded.   
“At least I get to come back to you afterwards” He smiled and kissed you. You smiled and climbed into his lap. Richard grinned and kissed you deeply.

“Still want a pink, green and grey wedding?” He asked, with a smile. You nodded.   
“Yeah, still want it in spring too” You chuckled.   
“Well, Spring is soon so...we should get planning, or do it next year’s spring” He said.   
“Well, location, I think I’d like to go to Nashville for the location. We know who is and isn’t being invited, and clothes wise, we have the money” You smiled.  
“Why Nashville?” He asked, smiling slightly.   
“That was the place, first time round, that I realised I felt safe with you” You admitted.  
“It was there I realised that I don’t need to change anything, except maybe my surname, and change it to yours” You smiled. Richard smiled and nodded, kissing your head.   
“We should get booking then” He said. You smiled and nodded.

You agreed to go dress shopping with Kim and Briana on the same day that Rich was going suit shopping with Matt and Rob, all of whom would either be your maids of honor, or his best men. You decided on a pale pink dress, it had a matching grey belt. Kim sent Rob a picture of the shade of pink and grey that the dress were, allowing them to pick out the best suit. Rob sent a picture to Kim a while later. Richard had on a pale pink shirt, grey waist coat and grey tie, along with grey trousers.  
“Look good?” He asked.  
“Perfectamundo” She sent back. You watched her and smiled.  
“What are you doing?” You asked, suspiciously.   
“Uh nothing” She chuckled, and put her phone away.


	44. Chapter 44

The wedding day came around a tad too soon for you. It was a sunny day, late in May. You, Kim and Briana had been for the pamper day, the day previous, that Rich promised, many months ago.   
“As if...It’s our one year anniversary, and we’re getting married” You said, sitting on your bed. Kim nodded and smiled.   
“Excited?” She asked with a chuckle.   
“Fuckin’ petrified” You responded, pulling your phone out. Kim took it away when she realised what you were going to do.   
“You’re not talking to Richard until you’re saying your vows” She said. You sighed, pulling his jacket close.  
“I miss him” You sighed. Kim chuckled.  
“I know you do sweetie, you’ll be with him soon” She promised. The ceremony was due to start at 11, it was 8.30 now. You nodded and climbed off the bed.  
“I need to shower” You said. Kim nodded.   
“We do too so don’t take forever” She chuckled. You rolled your eyes and walked into the bathroom. You removed your pyjamas and climbed into the shower, quickly washing your body and hair, shaving your legs. You climbed out 20 minutes later and walked out to find the two watching you.  
“What?” You asked.   
“Nothing” They said. You rolled your eyes and pulled on some panties and a bra to match. Kim smiled before walking into the bathroom. When she came out, you had just pulled your dress on and were fiddling with the rings on your fingers.  
“Holy shit, y/n you’re stunning” She said. You shrugged and looked down. She looked over when her phone buzzed.   
“Rob wants to know, beard or no beard” She asked you.   
“Up to him, Rich knows what I prefer” You shrugged, laying on the bed.

The wedding car arrived at 10.45. You had just finished doing your hair when there was a knock at the door. You walked out and climbed into the car with Kim and Briana. You’d decided that your brother would walk you down the aisle, despite not coming into your life until the past year. You and him had grown significantly closer, and when you told him of the wedding, he offered to walk you down the aisle in place of your father.

You got to the church and your nerves were sky rocketing. What if he didn’t want you. Kim climbed out of the car, followed by Briana and you came last. Rob was outside with Matt, waiting on you.   
“Rich is inside, they’re all just about ready...” Rob said, hands shoved in his pockets. He was wearing a black waistcoat with a white shirt. You smiled and bit your lip anxiously, watching as your brother walked over.   
“Hey y/n, you ready?” He asked. You shrugged.  
“I think so” You said. Rob looked to you and smiled.   
“It’s gonna be fine” He promised. You nodded.  
“Go on, tell them they can start” You said. Rob nodded and smiled, following Matt inside. Your brother took your arm in his own and smiled, Kim and Briana walking behind you.   
“All rise” The vicar said. From what you could see of Richard, he was only using one walking stick, something he likely wasn’t happy about. He’d been trying to stop needing them all together, mainly for the wedding. You heard the music start, and you slowly walked in, looking down until you reached Richard.   
“Holy shit” He said loudly, his eyes widening slightly, before his jaw dropped. He turned his around and chuckled slightly, before turning back.  
“Holy fuckin’ shit. You’re gorgeous” He said. You blushed slightly. You could see everyone else was having a similar reaction to you, but you didn’t know why.  
“Can’t believe you’re gonna be mine forever” He said, holding your hands in his own.

The ceremony went without any issues. You smiled for some pictures, you couldn’t help but feel a twang in your heart at the thought of your mom not being around to see it. You knew your father was around, somewhere, but you didn’t invite him. You kinda wished you had, but you didn’t also. When you walked into the after party, you found a table and sat with Richard. Rather than having the option of two meals, you’d agreed to have a buffet of food available, and it seemed to be more effective. You rested your head on Richard’s shoulder, and it was only now you got a good look at him. He was wearing a pale pink shirt, the exact same shade of pink as your dress. He was wearing a grey waistcoat and trousers to match, again the same shade that was on your dress. He had a grey bow tie on too, and you never thought you’d find pink so attractive on him. You kissed him gently and smiled.   
“You know what...I’m comfortable...I’m happy” You said softly.   
“Yeah, you are. And tonight, you’ll be on a plane” He smiled. You frowned slightly.   
“Didn’t think you wanted a honeymoon” You said.   
“I know you want one though, so we’re going back to where we went on our first holiday” He smiled. You smiled, you had fond memories that you were excited to recreate.  
“There’s one memory I definitely want to recreate” You smirked, mouthing along his jaw slightly. Richard smiled and kissed you.

At the end of the day, you and Richard walked into the airport together. You’d been so surprised, you’d only packed some sweatpants and a t-shirt for the following day, but Richard had packed you a suitcase with Kim’s help, while Briana had taken you out one day. You stood next to Richard, resting your head on his shoulder. He smiled and kissed the top of your head, his hand resting on your waist. It was a peaceful moment. You knew the paparazzi were all still watching you both, they probably needed the next headline – newly married couple goes on honeymoon.

When you arrived at the hotel you stayed in, many months prior, Richard checked you both in. An employee came out from behind the desks and took the bags, giving them to another worker to take up to the room, while you and Richard went to get some dinner. You sat in the restaurant, and finally, finally, looked at your husband properly. Sure there was the flight, but between the snotty, annoying children and the snotty, annoying elderly people, you didn’t spend that much time paying attention to each other, choosing to sleep instead. Richard smiled and rubbed your hand gently. You held his hand out and looked at the ring on his finger, matching the one on yours. You smiled and connected your hands.  
“I love you” You whispered. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“You know later...we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to” He said, almost as if he could read your mind and find one of the things causing you to worry slightly. You smiled and kissed him gently, brushing a hand through his hair.   
“We can try” You shrugged, before going to get a glass of wine for you both.   
“Celebrating?” He asked, a small smirk. You nodded.  
“Just got married to the sexiest guy around” You smirked. Richard chuckled and shrugged.   
“I’m just me” He said, drinking his wine.   
“Don’t start this” You chuckled. Richard shrugged and smirked.   
“What do you want to eat?” You asked.   
“I have no clue” He shrugged, lifting his walking stick. You smiled and also stood, holding a hand out for him. Richard smiled and took your hand, leaning against his stick with the other. You walked over to the food area and you picked up two plates, letting go of Richard’s hand. You piled both plates with some food to start you off, before making your way back over to the table.   
  
“What’s it like? Not having the feeling in your leg, and no muscles in your calf?” You asked. You were walking down along the beach front. You’d agreed not to go onto the sand this time, but you still watched the sun setting over the horizon.   
“You remember that time you got cramp and it lead to pain? Imagine that, combined with pins and needles, that never goes” He said softly.   
“Fuck. That sounds painful. Is there anything that reduces the pain?” You asked, sitting down when you realised walking likely made his leg hurt more.   
“Nothing that I can get, and nothing I’d be willing to get. Marijuana is supposedly good, but I’d rather not. The painkillers that they gave are alright, just don’t always work” Richard said, sitting beside you. You smiled softly and rubbed his hand, kissing his neck. Richard smiled and rested your head on his shoulder. Richard kissed your head and smiled, yawning slightly.   
“We should head back soon” You smiled softly. Richard nodded.  
“Yeah, I’m getting sleepy” He chuckled.   
“Yeah, It’s been a long day. Haven’t slept properly for nearly 30 hours” You smiled. Richard chuckled and nodded, picking his walking stick up. You smiled and stood up, holding a hand out for him. He took your hand and used it as a balance, along with his walking stick. You smiled and followed him down the street to the hotel. You walked back through the hotel and into the room. Richard laid on the bed and groaned slightly, putting his walking sticks down the side of the bed. He removed his shirt and attempted to remove his pants. You could see he was getting frustrated, and decided to take over. You unzipped the jeans and lifted his hips, tugging the pants away. He groaned slightly.   
“Thanks” He said quietly. You smiled and removed your own pants and top, before climbing into the bed beside him.   
“You know, you don’t have to care for me forever” He said softly.   
“I want to. You took care of me at my worst, and my best, now I want to help you” You said softly, resting your hand on his waist.   
“Thank you baby” He said softly. You smiled and kissed his cheek. You could see him slowly falling asleep.   
“C’mon, we should sleep” You smiled. He nodded and shifted to push his body up so he could cuddle you. You smiled and met him in the middle, cuddling close to him and flicking the lamp off.

When you awoke. you’d shifted through the night so he was on his belly, and you were laid on his back. You shifted to move off of his back, feeling his arms wrap around you and pull you close.   
“Morning sleepyhead” You whispered. Richard groaned and shifted curl impossibly closer. You chuckled and smiled, brushing your fingers through his hair, massaging slightly.   
“Mornin” He eventually groaned slightly. You chuckled and smiled.   
“Sleep well?” You asked, kissing his cheek. Richard shrugged.  
“I guess” He said softly, curling closer to you. You smiled and kissed him.   
“We missed out on something that every couple must do on the wedding night” You smirked. Richard chuckled and kissed you.   
“You want to?” He asked softly, brushing his fingers down your sides. You shrugged.  
“Maybe not that, but something” You said softly. He nodded and smiled. You smiled and kissed him, shifting on the bed so he was laid on his back and you were straddling him.

  



	45. Chapter 45

A few months had passed since your wedding. It’s taken you less time to become accustomed to sex than you expected. You’d done it with Richard almost a month ago. You awoke at 9am, Richard had gone out for physiotherapy, and when you woke, you ran through to the bedroom and felt yourself vomiting, This was the third day this week that it had happened, and it was only Wednesday. You sighed and after taking factors into consideration, you decided to do a pregnancy test. You reached into the cupboard and pulled one out. Richard never understood why you kept them, he always used protection. But recently, you’d stopped taking birth control, due to the side effects you were suffering, and you’d asked Richard to stop using a condom, because you didn’t like the feel of them. You flushed the vomit down the toilet, before reading the instructions.   
  
When your watch beeped to say that the 2 minutes were over, you looked to the test on the surface. You took a deep breath and were about to stand up, to check the test, when you heard the door open and Richard walked into the house. You felt hot tears surge, covering your cheeks as loud sobs left your throat. You heard the thuds of his sticks as he hopped up the stairs, quickly finding you in the bathroom.   
“Y/N?” He asked softly, kneeling in front of you. You leant into the touch, despite tears falling and sobs leaving your throat.   
“Talk to me” He whispered, brushing his thumb over your cheek, wiping away tears.   
“I – uh...I” You eventually started, once you were slightly more calm. He groaned slightly and stood up on his walking sticks.   
“Should we talk in there?” You asked, gesturing to the bedroom. Richard shrugged.  
“If you want” He said. You smiled and nodded, watching you. You picked up the test and didn’t even look at the result, you already knew what it said. You moved to sit beside him, hiding the test in your pocket.  
“I uh...I have something I need to show you. But I don’t want you to freak out, or leave” You said softly.   
“Y/n...what have you done?” He asked softly, his hand moving to hold your wrist in his hand. You knew why his mind automatically went to harm, you understood. But you shook your head.  
“Not that” You said, and rolled your sleeves to prove your point. Richard nodded, even more perplexed. You pulled the test out of your pocket, the two lines of ‘pregnant’ sticking in your mind. You could see Richard’s brain seemed to short circuit slightly. He opened his mouth, planning to say something, but he closed it again. This happened a few times.   
“Yes, it’s yours. I’m going to book an appointment with the specialist soon” You said, answering two of his questions at once.   
“What made you uh...think?” He asked.   
“Morning sickness...” You said. He nodded.   
“If you are...do you want to keep them?” He asked softly. You knew it was a question he likely didn’t want to ask, but it was one that needed to be asked, especially with the jobs you had. You nodded.  
“Yeah, I think so. Do you?” You asked softly.   
“Fuck yeah” He whispered. You smiled and nodded, kissing him gently. Richard smiled and cupped your cheeks.   
“Why were you so upset?” He asked, a small smiled remained on his face. You shrugged.   
“Didn’t know how you’d react” You whispered. Richard chuckled and kissed you gently.   
“It’s gonna be alright” He promised. You smiled and nodded, connecting your hand with his.  
“How was physio?” You asked, moving to lay on your side with him.   
“Boring. Can’t do much while it’s all muscle building exercises” He said softly. You smiled and rested your hand on his waist. Richard smiled and cupped your stomach.   
“That wasn’t the question you wanted to ask, was it?” He asked, chuckling slightly. You shook your head.   
“If I am pregnant, would you want to move house?” You asked softly.   
“What do you mean?” He asked.  
“This house only really has one suitable bedroom, the other one is tiny. Moving house would give us the opportunity to create a better nursery without having to do a significant amount of building reworking” You explained. Richard smiled.   
“We can do whatever you want” He said, kissing your cheek. You smiled softly.   
“What would you like to name them?” He asked.  
“I don’t really know...I think if we have a girl, I’d like her to have my mom’s name” You said softly. Richard smiled and nodded.   
“If they’re a boy?” Richard asked. You shrugged.   
“I haven’t really thought about having a boy...” You admitted. Richard smiled and kissed you.   
“If you’re not pregnant, do you want to try for one? I know everything is pointing to being pregnant, but still” He said. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yeah, I’m settled down, I’m happy and I’m safe...I’m ready to have a child” You smiled. Richard smiled and nodded, kissing you gently. You shifted and straddled him, still kissing him. Richard shifted slightly, his hands moving to your waist. You rolled your hips slightly, panting as you did.   
“Fuck” Richard muttered. You smirked.   
“Feel good?” You asked, panting. Richard groaned and removed his t-shirt.   
“Want me to blow you?” You asked with a smirk. Richard groaned and rolled his hips slightly, and that was enough of an answer for you. You slid backwards and unzipped his jeans, pulling them away from his body with the boxers. Richard groaned slightly, his chest heaving. You smirked and teased him, nipping at his thighs until they had marks from you. You grinned and took Richard into your mouth, bobbing your head slightly. Richard groaned and balled the sheets in his hands. His knuckles were white. You grinned and took him deeper.   
“Fuck y/n I’m gonna -” He said, and came with a moan. You smirked and swallowed it all down. A few moments passed before you moved to sit beside him on the bed.  
“Good?” You asked.  
“Holy shit” He breathed. You chuckled slightly and kissed his head.   
“That was...fuck” He said. You chuckled again.   
“Holy Christ...your turn” He said, and flipped you over. He slid down the bed. He pulled your – well, his – sweatpants away, and threw them over his shoulder. You moaned softly and watched him pull your panties away.   
“If you want to stop, just say” He said. You nodded and groaned when he dipped his head. You felt his tongue, probing areas meant only for him. You felt your arms moving, though you didn’t know it was you moving them. They knotted into his hair, holding his head down. You were rolling against his tongue, moans that were louder and louder leaving your throat until you came with a shout. Richard sat back and smirked.   
“Good?” He asked. You shakily nodded and smirked, pulling him up to kiss you deeply.

  



	46. Chapter 46

You were half way through your pregnancy when you decided to find out the gender. You’d originally decided to keep it a surprise, Richard had just gone with whatever you wanted to do. But while you were looking through an Ikea catalogue, to decorate your new house, you decided to find out the gender. You called up the clinic, they could fit you in this afternoon. After booking the appointment, you called Rich, who was out with Rob for the day.   
“Rich...I’m going to the specialist at 4 if you wanted to come” You said, you could hear Rob in the background.  
“What? Why? Is everything okay?” He asked. You could hear the fear in his voice, worried about you.   
“Yeah, I just decided I want to know the gender…” You said softly. Richard smiled widely.  
“Yeah, I’ll come with you. I can get Rob to drop me off at home at 3” He said. You smiled and rubbed your belly, the bump was barely visible, but it soon would be visible.  
“Alright...I also think it’s about time we tell Eric Kripke and Robert Singer…” You said softly.   
“We can talk about telling people tonight...” He said. You smiled, you knew it’d come up in conversation. You had an idea of what you wanted to do.   
“Alright, what time is it now?” You asked, flicking to the wall art in the catalogue.   
“Uh...2.17pm, we’ll head off soon” Richard said.   
“Alright” You said and smiled softly.  
“Babe...” He trailed off.   
“Yeah?” You asked, biting your lip.   
“Thank you” He said softly. You smiled.  
“I love you” You whispered.  
“I love you too” He said, you could hear the smile in his voice.  
“I’ll see you soon” He said softly.   
“Yeah, I’ll be waiting” You said softly. Richard smiled again.  
“Alright, shouldn’t be long” He said.   
“See you later” You said before ending the call, smiling widely. You reached down and rubbed your bump slightly, smiling wider when you felt something kick back.

A while passed and you saw a car pull up outside. Richard climbed out and said something to Rob, before closing the door and hopping up to the house. You smiled as he walked in, watching the car pull away.   
“I’ve ordered a taxi” He said, as he sat beside you. You nodded and smiled, moving to place on of his hands where yours were. You could still feel the baby kicking. Richard smiled widely and kissed your cheek as he felt the baby kick.   
“Fuck” He whispered. You smiled and nodded, looking to the clock as another car pulled up outside.   
“Cab’s here” He said. You nodded.  
“Yeah, I’ll grab my folder then we can go” You smiled. He nodded and stood up, helping you stand. You smiled and went up the stairs, picking up the folder, while Richard grabbed his phone, glasses and wallet. You walked down a moment later, bag in hand.   
“Ready?” Richard asked. You smiled and nodded, taking his hand. You locked the door and followed him out to the car, climbing in before helping him climb in.   
“Where to?” The driver asked.   
“Pregnancy specialist” You said. Richard smiled and rested his hand on your hip.   
“How do you want to tell people?” He asked, rubbing small circles. You leant into the feel of his arm around you.   
“Not a clue, I did think a photo but I’m not so sure now” You said. Richard smiled and kissed your head.   
“We can think of something” He smiled. You nodded and rested your head on his shoulder.   
“Should we tell your parents before everyone else?” You asked.  
“Probably” You chuckled.   
“Maybe we could go down this weekend? We haven’t seen them since the wedding” You suggested.  
“Plus, it’s their wedding anniversary soon” You added.   
“Yeah, I’m thinking, if it’s okay with you, of putting some scan photos in the card. Instead of telling them” He said. You smiled softly.  
“That would be nice” You smiled. Richard nodded and rubbed your side.   
“I’ll call them later, tell them we have news and we’re visiting. That doesn’t give away too much” He said. You smiled and nodded, watching as the car parked up. You climbed out and helped Richard out after he paid the driver. You held his hand and walked into the centre.  
  
When you walked into the small room, you could feel your anxiety skyrocketing again. Richard was there, he held your hand and kept you grounded while the nurse spoke through a few things about the pregnancy. He shifted to sit by the bed when you laid down on it.   
“Right then, lets get to work shall we” The nurse said. You lifted your top up, like you’d done so many times in this room. The nurse squirted the gel onto your belly and pressed the wand against it. You looked at the monitor, holding Richard’s hand. The nurse moved the wand around for a few minutes, and it felt too long. Fear hit you. _What if something had happened?_

“Well, the baby is looking healthy. You appear to be having a baby girl” The nurse said, wiping the gel from your chest and wiping the wand. She smiled.   
“I will give you a moment alone while I print off the scans” she said. You nodded, but couldn’t say anything. You were having a baby. You looked to Richard, who was smiling widely.   
“Hear that y/n, we’re having a daughter” He smiled widely. You smiled and hugged him tightly, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. You smiled widely and kissed him.   
“Thank you” You whispered.   
“If I’m correct, I’d say I should be thanking you” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes and hugged him closer, watching as the nurse walked in.   
“Here’s a few copies of your scans. There’s enough for a copy each, and one for each of your parents” The nurse said with a smile.  
“We don’t usually do that many, but I’m having a bad day and seeing you guys has made it better” She smiled. You smiled.  
“Well, thank you” You said, rubbing your belly. Richard smiled and held onto the bed.   
“Fuck” He whispered, feeling his leg become weak. You held him up, while reaching for his sticks. You smiled and kissed him.   
“C’mon...Let’s go to McDonalds” You chuckled. Richard rolled his eyes but nodded, holding a hand out for you. You smiled and took his hand, putting the folder into your bag. He smiled and followed you out of the clinic and down the street to the McDonalds.   
  
You walked in and sat on a table for two, while Richard ordered the food to be brought over to you, on the specialised disability seats. You smiled and watched as he sat beside you.   
“Now we have an idea on gender, it’s easier to think of names and decorating” You smiled. Richard nodded.  
“Name wise, I think we should name her after your mom” He said.   
“Do you?” You asked.   
“Yeah, it’s something you’ve always wanted to do. Could be your mom’s name and my mom’s name as a middle name” He suggested.   
“That sounds nice” You smiled. Richard smiled and pulled his phone out, dialling a number.  
“I think we should tell Rob, Matt, Kim, Briana, Eric and Robert too, before everyone else” He said, while waiting for an answer. You smiled and nodded, watching as the woman brought your food over. You smiled and thanked her.   
“Hey mom” Richard said. You smiled and ate a fry, trailing your foot up his leg slightly.   
“Yeah, we’re alright. Got some good news, but we want to tell you to your face. Is it alright if we come down for a few days?” Richard asked, smiling at you slightly. You smiled and ate some more.   
“Yeah, sweet. We’ll probably only come for three or four days, but it should be enough, although, we’re on a break anyway so can take longer” Richard said. He ended the call a few minutes later.  
“They’re fine with us going” He smiled. You smiled.  
“Good, what day are we leaving?” You asked, rubbing your belly slightly.   
“I said I’d text her the day we set off, and likely if we have two days of driving, I’ll text her the second day” He said. You smiled and nodded.  
“Alright, it’s thursday today, so if we travel on Saturday, should be easier” You suggested. Richard smiled and nodded.   
“How many scan pictures did we get?” He asked.  
“We have got 4 sets of two, one for me, one for you, one for your family and I was thinking a set for my brother” You said. Richard smiled and nodded.  
“Sounds good” He smiled. You reached into the bag and pulled one of the sheets out of the folder, looking at the photos. Richard smiled and moved to sit beside you, kissing your cheek as he did. You smiled.  
“She’s gonna be treated so much better than I was” You said, you’d made it your personal mission to give her a better upbringing than the one you had, though it wouldn’t be hard. Richard smiled and kissed you.  
“She will” He promised. You smiled and curled close to him.

  



	47. Chapter 47

The next day, you decided to call Eric and Robert to your house, to tell them of the pregnancy. You’d chosen to tell your bosses before your friends so they knew and could plan appropriately.   
“So, Y/n, Richard, hows life?” Eric asked, sitting down beside Robert. You smiled.  
“Amazing” You said. Richard smiled and nodded, wrapping your arm around him. Eric smiled.   
“We have news, that will have a significant impact on our careers on the show” You said. Eric nodded and sat forward.  
“I’m pregnant. Due in 5 months, ish” You said. They both smiled widely.  
“Congratulations” Eric smiled.   
“What would you like to do, regarding the show? Obviously you both play ‘possessive’ characters. We could hire in temps for when we start filming and use the ‘ditched the body’ theme for a while” Robert suggested. You nodded.  
“That sounds good, what is the story line next season?” You asked. You knew they likely wouldn’t have it 100% confirmed, but by now they were usually mostly certain.   
“Uh...I think we agreed on a romance between one of the Winchester boys and a demon, but it’s unknown whether it would be your character, y/n. And while that’s going on, the other Winchester will be battling to save the angels” Robert said, looking to Eric for confirmation. You nodded.   
“That’s fine, we should be ready to work again next season, but a lot of it likely isn’t suitable in the state I’m in” You said. Richard nodded and smiled slightly. Eric smiled.  
“Don’t worry about it, you guys will always be on the show, without you guys there wouldn’t be a show for a lot of people” Eric said. You shrugged and smiled.   
“Have you got a name picked out?” Robert asked. You smiled and nodded.  
“We think so” You said.   
“What about decorating, have you guys done that?” He asked.   
“Not yet, we’re going to pay someone to do it, likely when we’re back” You said.   
“What do you want it to be like?” He asked, and you picked up a magazine.   
“Something like this. Yellow walls, a rocking chair, shelves and all that fun stuff” You chuckled. Robert nodded and smiled.   
“Alright” He smiled and handed you the magazine back, watching as you put it on the table. You curled close to Richard.  
“Bet you guys never thought me and Rich would be here, way back when I was directing the episode” You said softly. Eric chuckled slightly.  
“We didn’t, but we’re all happy for you back on set. We’ll keep the pregnancy between us 4 for now” He said. You nodded.  
“We’re telling Rich’s family when we go down next week, and likely putting it out for everyone else in two or three weeks” You said. Eric smiled and nodded. You smiled.

When you arrived at Richard’s parents, a few days later, you could feel the anxiety building. You knew you had nothing to fear, you’d resolved all disputes with his family at the wedding, but you were still anxious. Richard rubbed your thigh.   
“It’s gonna be okay” He promised. You’d been sat outside of the house for almost five minutes, and you could see the curtains were twitching and you knew they were watching you.   
“What if they don’t like me?” You asked softly. Richard cupped your cheek and turned your head to face him.   
“They love you. They want nothing more than to have you as a part of the family” He said. You shrugged.  
“I fucked up big time though, I mean, you nearly died because of me” You whispered.  
“That’s in the past, y/n, they loosely understand what happened. They know you were upset and couldn’t cope” He said. You nodded. _Everything he was saying was right, but it still felt wrong_. You leant into the feel of his hand slightly.   
“What if-” You started, cut off when he kissed you.   
“Nope. There is nothing that will go wrong” He said. You nodded, connecting your hand with his.   
“I know, I just...” You trailed off, looking down again.   
“It’s gonna be okay” He promised. You smiled and nodded, curling close. Richard smiled and rubbed your belly slightly.   
“I love you” He said softly. You smiled and kissed him.   
“I love you too” You smiled. You unbuckled the seatbelt and smiled slightly.   
“Ready to go inside?” You asked. Richard nodded.  
“If you are” He smiled. You nodded and smiled, opening the car door. You watched him climb out and you helped him stand on his sticks.  
“I’ll get the bags later, just gonna carry the backpack in now” You said, lifting the bag onto your back. Richard smiled and closed the car, locking it once you were ready. You smiled and took his hand as you followed him up to the house, watching as he walked into the house.   
“Hey mom” He said, when she came out. You smiled and rested your hand on your belly. Richard smiled and moved to sit down on the sofa, watching as you sat beside him. Richard smiled and rested his head on your shoulder.   
“How’s life?” His mom asked. You smiled and yawned slightly.   
“It’s been amazing, on the topic of which. I know it’s not your anniversary for a few days, but there’s something in your card that I want you to see” Richard said, reaching into the backpack.   
“Front pocket” You said, when he couldn’t find it. He nodded and pulled out the silver envelope, handing it to his parents. You smiled and watched as they opened it, and the sheet of photos fell out. They looked between the card and the photos for a moment, before it hit them.   
“You’re pregnant?” His mom asked happily.  
“Yeah, a baby girl due in November” You smiled. Richard smiled and rested his hand on your belly, connecting his hand with yours.   
“Y/N, are your family aware?” His mom asked.   
“The remainder of it that I talk to, he is” You said. His mom frowned and tilted her head slightly.   
“My mom’s dead and my dad was abusive, my brother was the one at the wedding” You said. She nodded.  
“Ah okay, you know you can always ask us anything about parenting, we are kind of parents now” She smiled. You nodded and smiled.  
“Thank you” You said and yawned. Richard smiled.   
“What time is it?” He asked, noting he was also becoming sleepy.   
“Uh...9, I’ll go grab the bags before I help you upstairs” You said and stood up.   
“We can get them for you, and bring them up if you guys want to go up to bed” His mom offered.  
“Are you sure?” You asked, rubbing your back slightly.   
“Yeah, we’ll bring them up to you” She smiled.   
“Thank you” You said with a small smile, handing the car keys over. You groaned and helped Richard stand up. You followed him up the stairs, holding his hips up so he wouldn’t fall too far, if at all. Once in the bedroom, you laid on the bed and groaned.   
“I cant get comfortable at all” You sighed, rolling around. Richard chuckled and watched you.   
“Fuck I need a piss” You sighed and stood up. Richard chuckled and helped you out to the bathroom.   
“I’m gonna get changed” He said, through the door.   
“Alright” You responded, and walked back into the bedroom a moment later. You stripped to your underwear and moved to lay on the bed.   
“Want a back massage?” He asked. You smiled and nodded.   
“That would be nice” You said. He smiled and shifted so you were facing away from him. He massaged down your back, occasionally pressing a kiss until you felt yourself come with a soft moan.   
“Fuck” You whispered. Richard chuckled.   
“You always said you’d come from me massaging you” He chuckled, watching as his mom walked in a few minutes later.   
“Thanks mom” He said when she put the bags down, still massaging your hips.   
“Are you guys ready to be parents?” She asked, moving to sit on the chair in the corner.   
“I don’t think we’ll ever be ready, but we have support to help us” You said, groaning slightly. She smiled and nodded.   
“Yeah, plus we’re always around. Richard’s sisters too” She smiled. You nodded.  
“It means a lot, thank you” You said. Richard smiled.   
“Feeling better?” He asked, you smiled and nodded.   
“Much better, thanks babe” You said softly. He smiled and nodded, kissing your cheek, while tugging the duvet over your bodies.   
“Is everything better now? From before the wedding?” She asked.   
“Yeah, the thing that caused it all is rotting in jail” You said, relaxing in the feel of Richard’s arms around you. His mom frowned.  
“What exactly happened?” She asked.   
“I only ever got told that Rich got hurt” She explained.   
“Uh...I got assaulted, close to rape. Rich saved me, the guy stabbed him. My mental health went to pot, everyone suffered” You said, connecting your hand with Richard’s. He kissed you gently. His mom nodded.   
“Ah, okay. At least you’re both okay” She smiled. You smiled and nodded, yawning again.   
“I’ll let you get some sleep” She smiled. You smiled and reached back to rub Richard’s shoulders gently. He smiled to his mom and watched her leave, before curling closer.  
“Love you” He said softly, kissing the back of your neck. You smiled and relaxed further.   
“I love you too” You whispered, connecting your hand with his. He smiled and moved it to your belly, massaging gently. You smiled and shifted, kicking the duvet away.  
“Warm?” He asked with a chuckle. You smiled and nodded.  
“Yep” You chuckled and curled closer, hiding your head in his neck. You eventually fell asleep in Richard’s arms.

  



	48. Chapter 48

When you awoke in the morning, sun was streaming through the curtains and hitting your bodies. Richard was snoring quietly beside you, his hands were still on your belly. You smiled and shifted to face him, kissing him gently. He eventually woke up, holding your head still to kiss you. You smiled and melted into the touch. Richard smirked when you pulled away. He brushed his fingers through your hair.   
“Morning” He whispered. You smiled.  
“Morning babe” You said softly. Richard smiled.   
“Is it still morning? Doesn’t look like it?” He asked with a chuckle. You reached back and patted the desk for a few moments before finding your phone.   
“It is...11.47am” You said, noticing you had a new message. You opened it and smiled. It was a picture message from his mom. You opened it and smiled. It was from earlier in the morning, and it was of you and Richard, his hands were covering yours on your belly. You smiled and uploaded the picture to your Facebook, with the caption ‘ _Protection_ ’. You knew it was cryptic, a large number of your fans would question it, and many would post about it confirming pregnancy, but you wouldn’t tell them officially for a few more weeks. Richard chuckled slightly.   
“You’re not taking pictures of me, are you?” He asked.   
“Not at the minute, I might later” You chuckled before reaching back for his phone.   
“I tagged you in something though” You said, brushing a hand down his side. Richard chuckled as you passed him his phone. He smiled and unlocked it, checking Facebook.   
“We need to still tell Rob, Matt, Bri and Kim, I was thinking a small party alike we did with the engagement” You said. He nodded, but you could tell he was focused on his Facebook. He found the post and a wide smile covered his face.   
“Who took that?” He asked after a few moments.   
“Your mom” You said softly. He smiled and kissed you gently, pulling you close. You smiled and wrapped your arms tightly around him.   
“Fuck I love you” He said softly. You smiled.   
“I love you too”

  



	49. Chapter 49

A few days later, when you returned back home, you laid on the floor and sighed. He looked down and chuckled.  
“Alright down there?” He asked with a smile.  
“Yeah, just a backache” You groaned. He smiled and shifted against his sticks.  
“Go run the bath, I’ll be through in a second, I’ll give you a back rub” He suggested. You smiled.  
“That does sound nice” You said softly. Richard smiled and kissed you.  
“I just need to take some pain killers” He said. You frowned.  
“Leg?” You said, rubbing his thigh, it was the highest you could reach on his body from where you were laid.  
“Yeah” He said. You smiled and shifted to sitting. He held a hand out for you, helping you move to standing.  
“Maybe I should give you a massage too” You suggested, leaning against the sofa. Richard smiled.  
“You can if you want, but I won’t feel it” He chuckled. You smiled and kissed his cheek.  
“Go on, I’ll be there in a minute” He promised. You smiled and nodded, trailing your hand down his arm. You felt so much love for him, something you’d never felt for anyone before. He smiled and kissed your neck.  
“I love you” He whispered. You kissed him before walking through to the bathroom, filling the bathtub. You watched as Richard walked through a moment later.  
“Hey cutie” He whispered, wrapping one arm around your waist.  
“What day should we have the party?” You asked, looking to the clock.  
“Uh, what time is it now?” He asked.  
“We are on 9.30am” You smiled. He chuckled.  
“Could have it tonight? Short notice but if we order in some pizzas, ask Robbie to bring the beer for them, we have soda and other stuff for us, everything should be fine if we did it tonight” He suggested. You smiled and nodded.  
“That sounds good, if we say 7? That way I can take a nap before everyone comes” You chuckled.  
“Yeah, that sounds good” He smiled and kissed your cheek. You smiled and reached up to unbutton his shirt. You smiled and helped him undress, before he helped you undress. You smiled and helped him step into the tub. He held onto the handles, and held a hand out for you. You smiled and took his hand, climbing into the tub. You smiled and sat down, helping Richard sit. You smiled and curled up on his chest. Richard chuckled and brushed his fingers through your hair. You smiled and kissed his jaw, yawning slightly.  
“The chairlift is being fitted tomorrow, they’re coming at 11” You said. Richard nodded.  
“Finally. I can get upstairs without relying on you” He smiled. You nodded.  
“Plus, I can get up there easier too” You smiled. Richard nodded.  
“Yeah, gonna be so much easier for us both” He smiled. You smiled and nodded.  
“We should decorate the bathroom soon, it hasn’t been done in like 10 years” You chuckled, flicking a tile on the wall. Richard rolled his eyes.  
“We also need to check we have everything for this little one” He said softly. You smiled and nodded. Richard chuckled and shifted to massage your shoulders. You moaned lowly and relaxed. Richard smiled and kissed you. You shifted slightly so you could lay on your front, between Richard’s legs.

Richard smiled and washed some shampoo through your hair, massaging your skull lightly. You leant into the touch and panted slightly. Richard chuckled and brushed his fingers over your neck slightly.  
“I love you” He whispered, brushing his fingers over your neck again. You could feel the cool metal of his rings, pressing against your skin.  
“I love you too” You whispered. You curled up closer and smiled.  
“What else do we need to do before November?” He asked.  
“We need to check everything is done, possibly redecorate the bathroom. I’d like to take you to either your mom’s grave or somewhere that makes you think about her” He said. You looked up and tilted your head.  
“I want you to take some time for yourself to think about it. You’ve never really had the chance to, I want you to” He said.  
“Okay...” You whispered.  
“I know it’s odd, but it’s just something I want to give you” He said. You smiled.  
“I’d also like, if it’s okay with you, to have your brother as involved in her life, as my family will be. I understand you not wanting your father involved, but your brother can still be involved” He said. You nodded.  
“That sounds nice” You said softly.  
“Maybe once she’s born, you could apply for a service dog, that could then also be a pet for us” You suggested.  
“That sounds nice” He smiled. You smiled and rested your hand over his heart. It was peaceful, just laying together in silence.

 

7pm rolled around too quickly for you. You were relaxing on the sofa with Richard’s arms around you, when there was a knock at the door. He smiled and kissed the top of your head before walking over to the door. He opened it and invited everyone in. They all walked in and sat around the room, Richard going back to where he was sat beside you. Kim smiled and looked over to you both.   
“Looks like you have news for us” Kim chuckled. You nodded.  
“Yeah...uh, it’s probably obvious at this point, but we’re expecting. A baby girl, due in November” You smiled. Kim smiled widely.   
“OMGOMGOMG” She squealed, slapping Briana’s arm slightly. You chuckled and smiled. You looked around.   
“We would like for you 4 to be the godparents to her” You said softly. Rob smiled widely.   
“Do you?” He asked.   
“Yeah. You’re not only our best friends, but you’ve done so much for us” Richard smiled.   
“Have you got a name for her?” Matt asked.   
“Eleanor, after my mom. I was thinking Eleanor Barbara” You smiled, resting your head on Richard’s chest. Richard smiled and brushed his fingers through your hair, looking up when there was a knock at the door.  
“That should be the pizza” He said. Rob smiled.  
“I’ll grab it” He said, and stood up. Richard smiled and handed his wallet over. Rob took it and went to the door. He walked in a moment later, piled high with pizza boxes. You chuckled at the sight. Richard smiled slightly, massaging your belly. As the night progressed, you curled closer together, and when everyone had left, you fell asleep together on the sofa.


	50. Chapter 50

The day you went into labour, it was an unexpected one. You’d just finished eating the breakfast Richard had made for you. You stood up and frowned.  
“Rich...was thi-oh” You said, groaning. He quickly made his way to you and helped you sit down.  
“I got you, I got you” He said softly. You groaned and nodded.   
“I think I’m going into labour” You said. He nodded.  
“I got you, it’s gonna be okay” Richard promised, rubbing your belly. He smiled and kissed you gently.   
“I don’t know what I need” You groaned.   
“Uh...how about I help get you into something more comfortable than sweatpants?” He suggested.   
“Just take my pants off” You groaned. He nodded and lifted your hips, pulling the sweatpants back.   
“I got you, it’s gonna be okay” He rubbed your thigh. You groaned and nodded.  
“Should we ring an ambulance?” You asked, moving to lift your legs so he could check you. He shrugged.  
“You’re not massively dilated yet. We can but it might be easier to wait a little” He said. You nodded and pulled him close.   
“How does it feel? You’re gonna be a father soon” You asked, wincing slightly.   
“Amazing” He whispered, rubbing your hand in his. You smiled and groaned, clenching your other fist into a cushion. Richard smiled softly and kissed the top of your head.   
“It’s gonna be okay” He whispered, and pulled his phone out.   
“Want me to dial 911? Easier to get pain relief” He suggested. You nodded. He smiled and called for an ambulance, shifting to take both hands in his own. You groaned and gripped his hand, whimpering.   
“I got you” He whispered. You groaned and nodded, watching as he put the phone on the table.   
“First response coming for now, they’re gonna send an ambulance when the contractions are at a certain rate and when you’re at a certain dilation” He said. You groaned and nodded.  
“I got you” He said. You almost shouted in pain when a contraction hit, crushing his hand  
“I have you” He said, and rubbed your hand. You groaned and nodded, taking deep breaths. He rubbed your belly and turned the television off. You smiled slightly, sweat clinging to your forehead. He ducked his head down.   
“You’re getting on for 3 centimetres dilated” He said. You nodded and smiled.   
“She’s finally coming” You whispered. Richard nodded and smiled widely.

Hours later, and you could finally relax. Richard was laid by your side, rubbing his hands over your shoulders. Laid in his arms was someone who you were so excited to finally have in your arms, your daughter. You looked to Richard, who’d laid beside as soon as she was born.   
“She’s so gorgeous” You whispered.   
“Just like her mom” Richard responded, kissing your cheek. You blushed and shrugged.   
“I’m so proud of you” He whispered. You smiled sadly, resting against him.   
“My parents are coming in a bit” He said. You nodded, thankful they’d come to stay recently. They’d helped massively between your pregnancy and Richard’s disability. You smiled and nodded.  
“Does your mom know she’s named after her?” You asked.   
“It’s a surprise” He said softly. You smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss Richard’s cheek.   
  
A few moments passed in a peaceful silence until the door crept open. Sure enough, his parents walked in. You smiled to them, they had a bag with them. Richard smiled, shifting on the bed to move his stuff from the chair, allowing them to sit down.   
“How’s your hand?” You asked, holding his bruised hand.   
“I’ll be alright” He promised. You nodded and smiled, kissing him as his mom stood beside you.   
“Who’s this little one then?” She asked.   
“Meet Eleanor Barbara Speight” You said softly. His mom smiled widely and a tear trailed down her cheek.   
“My first grandbaby” She whispered. You smiled and carefully lifted her into Richard’s mom’s arms.

When you arrived home, a week had passed, and you expected to find the dishes from the breakfast still remaining on the counter. Except you didn’t. The entire house had been completely cleaned, and the final things that needed to be done, were done. You yawned and chuckled as Richard lifted her out of the tiny carrier.   
“Is the crib ready?” He asked softly.  
“Yeah, it’s the one attached to my side of the bed” You said softly. He smiled and nodded.  
“I’ll go set her down for the night” He said. You smiled and nodded, kissing his head. Richard smiled and sat in the chairlift, and moved up the stairs. You watched and smiled, before moving to the kitchen to grab a drink. Several minutes later, Richard returned to the kitchen. You didn’t know until his arms were wrapping around your waist.   
“How are you feeling?” He asked. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder.   
“Better now” You said softly. He chuckled and nodded.   
“Wanna head up to bed?” He asked softly.   
“Yeah, I’m just gonna grab a bottle of water” You said. He smiled and nodded.  
“Can you grab me one too?” He asked. You nodded and smiled, picking two bottles from the packet. He smiled and hopped over to the chairlift. You smiled and climbed into it with him, moving up the stairs. You walked into your bedroom and stripped, changing into some pyjamas. Richard stripped to his boxer shorts and climbed into the bed. You smiled and laid beside him, laying on your side. He pressed himself close and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the back of your neck.   
“Look at her...she’s so beautiful” He whispered. You smiled and nodded, resting your head on his arm, which lay on top of your pillow. You smiled and leant against him, reaching back to kiss him gently. Eventually you fell asleep, Richard’s arms rubbing your belly.

Morning rolled around, and you’d awoken sometime around 4. Instead of choosing to go back to sleep, you decided to watch your newborn daughter. She was so perfect, she looked just like Richard. You felt Richard’s arms shift around your waist.   
“She’s gorgeous” He whispered. You smiled and nodded.   
“Just like you” You whispered. Richard smiled and kissed your cheek.   
“I think you mean you” He chuckled. You shook your head, looking back to your peacefully sleeping baby.

As the sun rose, and Richard moved to make you breakfast. You knew you were safe, you knew that no longer would you be scared. You’d always have Richard by your side, and you’d always keep each other safe.

  



End file.
